one of my earliest clients working contract security, ran a paid parking lot. this was ages ago, i was the onsite guard for it, one of my things was walking the lots making sure everyone was paid.
There was this idiot in a Jag. parked. started walking off to the strip club next door. I see him walk by me and I warn him. he gets Entitled-Rich-Dude (with a side of Horny-College-Kid. ProTip. Minivans are better for sex in the car. more room. better seating… better suspension.) he stalks off without paying so I slap a stupid “you owe us” ticket- its not even a city ticket… and we’re not going to send it to collection (the lawyers fee costs more than it’s worth.)
Anyhow, he had this proximity alarm thing that sounds off if you get too close. “warning this car has a proximity alarm! it will sound in…”… well, I ignore it, slap the ticket on and go about my job. Turns out the ticket on the windshield is enough to set off the proximity alarm. It was sounding for a couple hours.
his battery drains because the alarm is constantly going off. When he comes out, the thing won’t start. he sees the ticket and calls the cops.
Says I vandalized my his Jag. I see the cops doing their bored questioning thing, so I walk out and basically make sure they see me. One comes over to ask what’s up. So I explained all that. “all i did was put the ticket on. His proximity alarm must have tripped.” “Proximity Alarm?” the cop asks. “yeah. You know those things from the 90’s that are like 'step away from the vehicle…” “So… those are illegal.” (because noise nuisance.) He looked rather happy at that. And up the hill, you could hear this guy making demands of the partner to arrest me. the cop is trying to be “nice” because Entitled Rich Fucks are annoying. The cops basically told him to call for a jump, but ERG “knows PeOpLe”
Any how, after a moment, I say to the cop that had been talking with me, who absolutely doesn’t want to bail his partner out “So, I couldn’t help but notice, there’s a baggie sack covered in suspicious white powder on front passenger seat.”
My cop walks up and looks in the window. They ask him to open the car. (“There’s a baggie with a suspicious white powder. We have probable cause…”)
So the other cop sees this, raises an eyebrow. when he figures out what’s going on… the guy gets a rather evil gleam in his eye.
They start that process over hostess powdered donuts. just to piss the rich fuck off. Ended up citing him for the proximity alarm and left it at that, but not before they searched his car.
(who the fuck drives a jag and then has powdered sugar donuts in it? Ew. that shit gets everywhere.)