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Stop telling men/guys that height matters in a relationship!

What do you expect to gain in doing this?? They don’t need to be told this, and telling them this is bullying. Are you actually trying to hurt them emotionally?? Because telling them this is just cruel. You’re obviously a lot taller than those you’re telling this to, and telling shorter men/guys that they “won’t have a chance” with the opposite sex all over their height is just despicable

voxthefox ,

Spoken like a short man :P

In all seriousness though, you should thank them for bringing it up, the sooner the better for you to realize what they think matters and if they are shallow about that, there are likely other things as well. So good for you to learn early and move on to someone who will appreciate you as you are.

AnonymousAProblem1 OP , (edited )

So apparently it’s important to be told this?? Now tell a black man it’s “important to be white” in a relationship…

cyberpunk007 ,

Yes it is good to know this because you don’t have to waste your time with them now that you know they’re a shallow piece of shit :)

MaggiWuerze ,
@MaggiWuerze@feddit.org avatar

He’s saying that she outs herself as shallow and that is important to know early on. Fuck her for mocking you height but thank her for giving you such an early warning to leave

AFKBRBChocolate ,

“Important to be” is the wrong language, but it’s absolutely fine if someone doesn’t find someone else attractive because of their height, color, or anything else. Attraction is subjective.

fart_pickle ,

There’s a quick fix. If a woman starts taking about your height, start taking about her weight.

cRazi_man , (edited )

That is very far from a fix. Fighting negativity with negativity doesn’t make you the winner here.

Be secure in who you are. Know your value comes from a world of other factors and height is only one minor aspect of your physical appearance. It is unfortunate that the ignorance of society has consequences for you, but your best revenge is to live well.

MotoAsh ,

I mean, it can absolutely work as a comeback, but it definitely shouldn’t be a default response.

CanadaPlus ,

Yes, reading the room is still required, and then maybe explaining the comeback afterwards because usually if they’re dumb enough to just blurt out that sort of thing they’ll need it.

Today ,

There’s a quick fix. If someone starts talking about your height, walk away.

bionicjoey ,

Fucking incel troll keeps evading bans

AmidFuror ,

You sure? This post is at least a little different. And so far no claims that life is pointless.

bionicjoey ,

Different ban evading incel troll lol. I guess I’m gaining a bit of a rep for spotting them?

Edit: the other one is currently mascara@lemmynsfw but I haven’t accumulated quite enough proof to report him again.

AmidFuror ,

Ah. I interacted with you about a different one yesterday. Didn't know you were tracking multiple.

If you run into anyone who seems obsessed with dirty things his friends are saying about his sister or a different one that feels vulnerable to being stabbed in the belly due to height, let me know.

bionicjoey ,

Damn that sounds like yet another one. The fediverse really needs to come up with a way to federate bans. We shouldn’t have to play whack-a-mole

AmosBurton_ThatGuy ,
@AmosBurton_ThatGuy@lemmy.ca avatar

Even with federated bans, people like that will just find ways around it to continue making alts cause they have nothing better to do with their sad lives. Just like the obvious hexbear alts on different instances these days, losers gonna loser unfortunately.

Much harder to stop them without making it too difficult for real users than it is for them to just keep making alts to spread whatever flavour of bullshit they want.

hendrik ,

What's the story behind this? Do women tell that to men? Or men to other men? And in what context? While dating? Or casually?
And why does it even matter?

AnonymousAProblem1 OP ,

Men tell it to other men

Tolookah ,

Well, those ‘men’ are just overgrown children.

CanadaPlus ,

If somebody is habitually dissing you for being short, they either are a bully (and must be dealt with one way or another) or don’t realise how much it hurts you.

hendrik , (edited )

Oh... Yeah, they're idiots. And don't have a clue. I think you should try to ignore them if you don't plan on dating them. Maybe don't have them be close friends either.

In my experience such random bullying is quite common in school. But once your grow up, such things become more rare in the adult world. Your mileage may vary. There are adult bullies and a*holes who like to pick on people. They'll find something to tease and bait you. Outer appearance is a common and cheap way to do it.

If you're still in school: It might become better after that. If not: Congratulations, you met some proper pricks. I hope they're just some random people you don't have to interact with ever again.

800XL ,

Dude, if some guy tells you that it’s because he is insecure or knows he has no chance and his fragile ego can’t handle you dating her because he thinks he is better than you. He is going to have some self examination to do and he can’t deal with that.

You intimidate him, man.

downpunxx ,

I have never said this to another man, lol, I have never thought of saying this to another man

Pestil3nce ,

Women tend to say men have to be over 6ft tall for them to even be considered for a date. These women are usually caked up in makeup, or overweight, or lazy and unemployed looking for a sugar daddy, or just have a really bad personality. They’re single for a reason, basically, and are considered femcels. I’m not saying that there aren’t guys on the other side of this doing similar things though. Both sides are usually just filled with stupid, immature people who need some growing up to do. There are 8 billion people on the planet…if some nobody on Tender wants to be picky, then move on. Anyone with a personality like this isn’t worth dating anyways. So any time you see the whole “must be this tall to ride” or “must be below this weight to date,” consider them red flags and just move on to the next person.

hendrik ,

Sure. There's a nut to every bolt. Or so they say. I'm also not interested in a partner who is just fixiated on outer appearance. Or money. I like people who like me for who I am. And that's why I personally consider such statements as valuable information and immediately move on to the next person who isn't as shallow and incompatible to me in what we value in life and other people.

Pestil3nce ,

Exactly. Even if it’s a guy saying it, same thing…just childish behavior that should be ignored. Eventually, they’ll just be alone and tall.

LastoftheDinosaurs , (edited )
@LastoftheDinosaurs@reddthat.com avatar

It’s not as big of an issue as it might seem. While you might hear about it online, I’ve never encountered someone who genuinely fixates on height in person.

This could be a form of avoidance. Sometimes, people might lie or exaggerate to steer clear of conflict, rejection, or negative judgment. This behavior is particularly common among those who’ve experienced trauma and become hyper-vigilant about how others perceive them. Past negative experiences might have created a narrative where you felt undesired or unloved, leading to concerns about things like height, even though that might not be the true source of the problem.

If it’s a common thing, maybe talk to a professional, but one-offs are fine. Don’t carry someone else’s baggage.

Edit:

In relationships and social interactions, such tendencies might arise as a way to control the narrative and feel safer in interpersonal dynamics.

AFKBRBChocolate ,

Attraction is subjective. There are norms, but everyone has their own preferences. Never listen to anyone who claims to speak for any giant group of people (gender, race, culture, whatever). Most women aren’t going to tell you that, but there are assholes in every group. If they’re speaking for themselves, that’s fine though: no one is obligated to disregard any of your attributes.

When I went bald, there were women who said bald guys aren’t attractive. But then there were some who said they were especially attractive, and most just didn’t care.

CanadaPlus ,

How often does someone just bring this up?

Jackthelad ,

I’m 6’2". Do I have height privilege?

kindenough ,

deleted_by_author

    •
    Wogi ,

    .82 Yao Mings

    Zier ,
    @Zier@fedia.io avatar

    As a human that has been alive for more than 5 days, here is my comment.

    Personally I prefer a partner that is close in height to myself, not more than 1-2" shorter and not more than 4-5" taller. That's just me. Other Humans have different preferences.

    My pet peeve is the annoying "short" guy who want's to climb the tall "tree". You don't have a chance in hell shorty!! There is nothing wrong with shorter men, unless you are this loser.

    Just because someone is short does not mean that no one finds short people attractive. Some people only want to date short men and women. Don't listen to bullshit people and their weird opinions. Short, fat, tall, thin, older, younger, blond, brunette, red head, etc, someone wants to fuck you. Be warned, and be ready, and use a fucking condom already!!

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