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ZILtoid1991 ,

Neuralink logs be like:

Day 1: Implanting the brain chip was successful, patient is recovering.

Day 12: Patient is now capable of controling a mice with his brain.

Day 15: Patient is now capable of text input to computers, also some limited amount of other forms of communications.

Day 21: We asked the patient to do some art, by sending text input to one of those AI art generators. Instead, he just generated an image with his own mind. It is wonderful what science is capable of.

Day 29: This is Dr. R Martinez here on Dr. K Johnson’s PDA. Johnson was killed by the patient’s newly gained psychic capabilites, which Elon Musk managed to take control of, by tormenting the patient with “voices”. This is also the last device neither the patient have destroyed, nor G Ivanovich have compromised. I’m heavily wounded and all my limbs are broken. I don’t think I’ll be able to leave the factility alive. I’m hungry. I’m thirsty. I’m cold. I miss my wife and kids. My other coworkers Prof K Myung and Dr F Williams were also killed by the patient, after we dared to object Musk and his ambitions. Beware of G Ivanovich, he’s a traitor, and he’s on Musk’s side. Please stop Musk and his plan of replacing the US government with… [End of log entry]

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

“ITCHY TASTY”

lowleveldata ,

I want to have Bob’s job

Revan343 ,

I mean, sounds like the position is available

NakariLexfortaine ,

Hey, you forgot page 3.

“Turns out the company I design bioweapons for was evil. Who knew?

Itchy. Tasty.”

wesker ,
@wesker@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

This is libel.

RIP_Cheems ,
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

A literal excerpt from re4 remake: Date: April 13 I shared the news of my achievement with that pretentious bastard colleague of mine. His face went white! Then, he started scribbling something in his notebook. I thought he’d be impressed, but instead, he actually had the nerve to warn me of the so-called dangers.

He’s a fool. I have everything under control.

Date:

The subject went wild and escaped from its cryogenic tank.

I was the real fool.

dalekcaan ,

Same energy

RIP_Cheems ,
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

I love how he walks out of the machine with full sentience and reveals the truth like that.

eager_eagle ,
@eager_eagle@lemmy.world avatar

oh he reveals more than the truth

EdibleFriend ,
@EdibleFriend@lemmy.world avatar

Honestly, id be ok with shit like this as opposed to just destroying the environment. This would be a more interesting way for us to be fucked.

MamboGator ,
@MamboGator@lemmy.world avatar

I never gave any thought to Umbrella being more ethical than real life pharmaceutical companies, but I can’t find fault in you logic. I’d take Umbrella over Purdue.

Doof ,

I mean unless it’s another lie they now exist to clean up their mess

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