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Jerkface ,

YO, my mom did this to me! In fact I figured a lot of this shit out when I found r/raisedbynarcissists. I saw a lot of people there claimed to be on the spectrum which I thought was pretty weird. So I follow the rabbit hole and I learn about PTSD, CPTSD and I start seeing a therapist about it. Turns out she just didn’t want to be responsible for fucking up her kid.

candyman337 ,

Is it not common for people with autism to develop cptsd though? It could be possible you have both right?

Jerkface ,

No it’s more likely that my emotionally and financially abusive car stealing, gaslighting, steal-money-out-of-my-wallet-while-I’m-sleeping parent just didn’t want to be held accountable for her shitty “parenting.” Also the multiple expert evaluations that say I’m not diagnosably autistic. But I guess I should listen to the guy that analyzes people’s mental health based on a four sentence internet post uninvited, right?

Sinaf , (edited )
@Sinaf@lemmy.world avatar

But I guess I should listen to the guy that analyzes people’s mental health based on a four sentence internet post uninvited, right?

I think you don’t really mean these words and you are subconsciously projecting the feelings you feel towards your mother onto an unknown person on the Internet.

Here’s some cocain to calm your nerves.

candyman337 ,

Yes it was a genuine innocent inquiry. Didn’t mean to offend.

colderr ,

I don’t want to be mean, but their name is Jerkface.

BackOnMyBS ,
@BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place avatar

Yoooo, I’m AuDHD and my father was a raging narcissist (possibly psychopath). Additionally, I’m currently recovering from CPTSD after a hell of a lot of recent emotional abuse. I get the intense emotions feeling invalidated brings up. They’re legit and justified. As a survivor of that insane childhood and environment, it hurts to see others go through it because I know how bad it can be. Other people will never be able to understand it if they even believe you, so I’m sorry you went through that. You were just a kid, and no matter your reactions and behaviors at the time, it wasn’t your fault. It couldn’t have been your fault because it’s all you knew.

Sometimes though, people are only asking a question to gather information and clarify, not build a case against you, imply that you’re “wrong”, and make you look like the “crazy one”. I can’t speak on their behalf, but I think @candyman337 was just asking to understand better and didn’t mean anything against you by it. If that’s the case, then while your reaction makes complete sense, you might have better outcomes if you were to practice assessing situations and responding in a way that helps you reach your goals. This would give you more control over your life while compassionately validating yourself. It would also help you avoid the trap that narcissists lay when they trigger you to act out to make you look unhinged. So either way, unless you’re in immediate physical danger, staying calm and collected is the best move.

Also, my intention is merely to help you. I am not trying to insult you, imply fault, or make any judgement on your character. We all make mistakes sometimes (I still make them all the time), so it is completely understandable. All it means is that you’re trying, and that’s something to be proud of considering the history of what you’ve been through. I hope this comment helps you ❤️

addictedtochaos ,

turns out my whole family is toxic as *hit because we all have adhd or autism, i have both. dad is autistic, mom has adhd.

i am the only one diagnosed with treatment.

i blocked half of my family, for good reason.

ayaya ,
@ayaya@lemdro.id avatar

Similar story here. Asperger’s runs on both of my parents’ sides of the family. In addition Dad has ADHD and mom has BPD. I ended up with the Autism+ADHD combo with sprinkling of CPTSD on top. I don’t even know where the neurological problems end and the psychological problems begin.

Have not talked to either in well over a decade.

ThatWeirdGuy1001 ,
@ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world avatar

You can say shit on the internet. If you’re gonna self censor just don’t use the word at all ffs

prettybunnys ,

Right?

Say the word or pick a different word.

chuckleslord ,

I mean, I understand what you’re saying and it is true here on lemmy, but it is absolutely not the case that you don’t have to self-censor on the internet. I mean, you can choose to not to, but some systems will just never show your contribution to the conversation to anyone (ex. tiktok, Facebook, YouTube, etc). So people practice self-censorship to engage with those platforms and then it becomes a part of their online vocabulary.

So, you don’t need to self-censor here on lemmy, but you also shouldn’t give anyone flak for doing so.

Umm, ffs, if I used that right.

Jax ,

No I think their point stands. There are plenty of words to choose from, you simply don’t need to say shit. Like it is quite literally that simple, use the word or don’t.

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