while i usually try to be charitable to people with young kids, it really irritates me when a kid is screaming, crying, really upset and their parent/s are just completely ignoring it. at least ask them what the matter is, smh
I’m 27 and will probably be getting it soon. It sounds like it’s not as bad as I though, while also doesn’t affect your sex life in the negative sense later, so that’s good to hear!
What do you think is the best age to start considering it? I’m pretty deeply set on not having kids and I don’t see anything that would convince me otherwise, and it’s so important to me that it’s one of the first things I mention when starting a relationship. I was always trying to make it clear that I will pay for and handle protection, if something happens I always went to get the pills asap, and always was clearly communicating that if even through all of that a child happens, I’m helping with abortion as much as I can, or if she wants to keep it I’ll keep paying her but she will never see me again. While it does sound harsh, it was important to me to get the point across even at the cost of sounding inconsiderate, so I think that I’m pretty much decided on that matter.
But I have no idea how do humans and biology works, and I’ve already seen what the brain can do when I overdid something and got a temporary psychosis, even though I’m perfectly normal otherwise - so if there is some kind of biological process that makes you want kids later in life, I guess I may reconsider and then suffer for it - hence the question. Did anyone older experienced such a strong change of opinions later in life, regarding children?
My experience with the surgery was that I was a bit tender for a week or so, nothing terrible though
You obviously feel pretty vulnerable during the procedure, but I was chatting with the doctor as he did his work which took 10 minutes maybe
I drove home afterwards (sitting was uncomfortable) and iced the boys for a while
The doctor actually offers antianxiety meds to his patients and I saw at least one guy that went with them - his wife was escoriting him while he was all spaced-out
When they pull the tubes out from the scrotum, that pulls on the tubes further up and there is a sharp shooting pain that rises up into the abdomen, apart from that, the week after is tender, and to avoid further pain, the area should be disinfected regularly until the scab heals.
I had mine just two weeks ago (after three kids) and the most painful part was getting the anesthetic shot. From leaving the waiting room to walking out it took 40 minutes and I had zero pain. It’s healing very nicely and everything still works. And you have to masturbate a lot on doctor’s orders to “clear the pipes” as my doctor put it.
My body processes anesthetics very quickly so I had the shots and about halfway through the feeling came back. The doc said “well…the shots hurt about as bad as the procedure so it’s up to you”. So I can say even without much numbing it is something you can handle. Gives me the chills to think about though.
Because most people have children eventually. The rest of us are in the minority. Businesses want as much patronage as possible, so they don't target us.
Which is why I go out of my way to niche places that don’t have as many kids, I am inconveniencing myself to go to these niche places. There are a dozen other barber shops closer to me I could go to but I went to this one farther away because it had an adult vibe.
Even when I go out of my way to try to find the one place that fits me mom groups still push their way in.
That’s why I dislike this argument. I go to the one of 30ish barber shops around me because I wanted that atmosphere without kids and I’m still demonized because “kids are a part of life”. To me that comes off as "I know there are 29 others I could take my kids to, but you’re a bad person for not wanting kids at the only one that doesn’t cater to them "
I have misophonia and certain sounds are so grating and painful that it takes all my focus to disassociate from it and not give in to the rage. I couldnt imagine dealing with all the screaming and crying and still keeping my cool 100% of the time like I do right now. Better not to risk it.
Sometimes I think I would like to pass on skills or knowledge or help someone navigate through life but I could just write a fucking book and not subject another person to this bullshit.
You have to be a bit selfish and think about what you want. Do you want kids? As a woman do you want to go through child birth? If these are things you don’t truly desire and want you’re going to be miserable raising a child, which won’t be good for you or the child.
Also, if you and your partner are not on the same page here you need to be. You need to talk about what each other wants, and if you both want different things then you’ll want to consider your future together because it might not work out.
Ultimately what you want and what your partner wants are both equally important.
alot of airlines also make deportations, but probably in a less obvious way…anyway blame france that wants to bomb niger, and then the rest of european countries will have to bear the consequences, Italy in particular
I know this is a few months old but I wanted to share some of my past because we have a lot in common. I was married to a man who, besides being cruel, told me he wanted kids two years in. I got married way too young…
I desperately tried to get sterilized but the military gyno told me (at 24) that I was too young to make that decision and that my husband might want kids, so she wouldn’t do it. There’s a lot more drama/PTSD involved in the middle, but eventually we had a messy divorce. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I got sterilized, no longer have periods, have an incredible sex life, have more friends, sleep in whenever I want to, and can travel. If I change my mind, I’ll foster so I can change a life that already exists. I had endometrial ablation and a bisalp, meaning I still have my uterus and ovaries, so no babies, but also no risk of organ collapse and my ovaries still produce hormones. Life is so much better. I’m really proud of you for sticking up for yourself. You’ve got this! I’m here if you need a shoulder or to vent.
Thanks for sharing your story, sounds like you’ve been through a lot. I’m lucky in that he was never cruel to me and the divorce was as smooth as I think it could have been. I have a gyno appointment coming up soon so I’m hoping to talk about my options for sterilization then.
That’s awesome! Yeah! I highly recommend Bilateral Salpingectomy with Endometrial Ablation. No periods, no cramps, no mood swings, and no babies! Don’t just get your tubes tied, get the bisalp to remove your fallopian tubes, because tied tubes can reconnect. One out of every 200 women who get their tubes tied instead of removed, end up pregnant. That is not a small number.
Just got laid off from work. I’d be fucked if I had kids to feed now. Luckily I don’t and also enough savings to live off for two years if I had to. This is exactly the kind of stuff I don’t want that responsibility for.
Oh I’ll be fine. I’m a union member so my finances are covered no matter if I find a new job or not. I might even start my own company now that I have a good chance.
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