Do you think monogamy will always be the main "form" of earth or do we just break someday this code and just "do whatever we want"

neshura , 9 months ago

I think monogamy will continue to be the default MO of relationships although divorce will become more common as life expectancy keeps increasing. I also think acceptance of other relationship models will increase but I doubt they’ll become prominent among lower classes, having one partner already is a lot of work and people with little in terms of money and perspective are unlikely to be able to afford that full attention for another partner. (yes cheating is a thing, it usually also involves either a reduction in relationship activity with the cheated on or a relationship light with the affair partner)

ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling , 9 months ago

The main problem with polyamory is the jealousy. I have experienced jealousy maybe three to five times in life, because I was an only child and I have a very laid back temperament. I think if we start prioritizing quality of life more as a society, parents will be free to raise their children well with less insecurities, and maybe that would result in more people gravitating towards polyamory. But it’s really not for everyone. Poly is hard work.

lightnsfw , 8 months ago

Jealousy is definitely the biggest sticking point for me. Every woman I’ve been with has always had a few other dudes sniffing around at any given time waiting for their chance. I on the other hand have gone years between relationships because I have a hard time meeting women that I’m interested in who also want to be with me. If I could easily find someone else to hook up with while my gf was out doing it I wouldn’t really have that big of a problem but I would have a huge issue if I was stuck at home by myself while she was out potentially finding a replacement for me.

Also I think you have a good point that if we didn’t have to invest so many resources into a relationship more people would probably be more okay with it.

danhakimi , 9 months ago

Some animals mate for life or mate exclusively, others don't. It's not "the main form of earth," it's the norm by which humans establish long-term romantic and sexual relationships and raise their young.

I don't think society will forget that any time soon, but it's hard to predict the future. Culture does change over time.

Tlaloc_Temporal , 9 months ago

Almost all birfs are strictly monogamous, with a huge portion mating for life. Cetaceans on the other hand…

Wahots , 9 months ago

Anecdotally speaking, probably not. I haven’t seen many poly relationships really last, nor have many of my friends (all queer).

I do see the rise of grandparents caring for children as a thing though, as wages continue to stagnate and both parents are forced to work. Intergenerational housing too. Multiple friends buying houses nearby and caring for kids if one parent is fiscally fortunate enough to be stay at home. That sort of thing.

wombatula , 9 months ago

That’s just daycare with less steps.

Wahots , 9 months ago

It is!

Karius , 9 months ago

This was how communities worked for most of human history until the advent of capitalism and urbanization

Crackhappy , 8 months ago

I, after some admittedly short research found averages for monogamous relationships (including marriage) anywhere from 18 months to around 4 years. Which surprised the heck out of me. I’ve been Polyamorous for the last 24 years and the shortest relationship I’ve had in that time is 6 years. Most of my poly friends are also in quite long term relationships but that may just be a function of the friends I make.

This is also an entirely anecdotal response to your experiences as well.

WetBeardHairs , 9 months ago

OK now keep up with me:

• Luxury
• Gay
• Space
• Communism

crapwittyname , 9 months ago

You forgot “fully automatic”

RBWells , 9 months ago

I think you are talking about marriage and family, more than just sex, right? Because sex-wise, you can do what you want already.

Polygamy no. I don’t think that’s what most people want, the sister wives thing. That’s a system used when men are scarce and you are trying to increase the population quickly, neither of those conditions exist now, and polygamist systems are often dead patriarchal and nasty.

Polyamory? The make your own family, whatever configuration, more than 2 people? I think we are closer to that, yes. In a time when you are trying to decrease birth rates, yes families with more than just a couple might become popular. More parents to love and care for each child would be handy.

Polyandry, two or more husbands? That would work in a world where there were more men than women - but most of those places in the world right now are not places where a woman would have the freedom to do that.

HobbitFoot , 9 months ago

Monogamy has never been the main thing. However, with the equalizing of sexes in marriage according to the law, I don’t see how anything but monogamy can be legally until a lot of work is put into defining how three equal people can be married.

A form of polygamy is available to the upper class; it is called having a mistress. However, the mistress has no marriage rights; any rights would come from being the parent of a joint child.

ilovesatan , 9 months ago

TIL only rich people can have affairs. Guess I’m off Scott free. “Babe, I couldn’t have cheated! Just look at my 401k!”

MasseR , 9 months ago

In the ethical nonmonogamy (ENM) circles, the form of polygamy is usually frowned as it is a form of power over others. However polyamory and other forms of non monogamy are much practiced and common.