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Do you think monogamy will always be the main "form" of earth or do we just break someday this code and just "do whatever we want"

Will this one-by-one system forever be our main thing or do you think we will break monogamy and maybe “team up” as groups or something?

And yeah polygamy is a thing but do you think it will catch on to “the upper class”?

CanadaPlus ,

It appears to be pretty stable through history and prehistory around the world, so it’s probably biological. Occasionally cultures allow limited exceptions but they’re usually one-sided. This lines up with my personal experience, which is that some people are capable of being poly, but most people just aren’t.

Son_of_dad ,

With the amount of people who cheat, I would say most people are but not ethically.

CanadaPlus ,

Ah yes, that’s true. It’s pretty common among monogamous birds too.

As I understand it, they’re still mono because they couldn’t stand it if their partner was doing the same thing.

cwagner ,

FWIW, South Africa recently legalized one woman, many husbands after having the reverse be legal for a long time.

CanadaPlus ,

Man I have so many hopes for that nation. Big challenges, big potential.

cwagner ,

I actually had hopes after Zuma was finally gone, but the current president doesn’t look as corruption-free as I hoped either, and I’m not actually sure if they have any chance while the ANC is still in power (Not that I know much about the other parties, I know the EFF is pretty radical and that my brother-in-law is a candidate for them :D).

Then you have the resurgence of racism and all the economic difficulties coming from their energy issues, when we were there earlier this year, they had about 6 hours of electricity outages every day.

CanadaPlus ,

I should do some reading about EFF. It really does seem like both SA and Zimbabwe chose the wrong strategy to righting colonial inequalities. Something in between, like just a tax on white-owned businesses while they’re disproportionately powerful, could be good.

cwagner ,

IMO (partially my read, partially what my wife, an SA native, said) the biggest issue was that the ANC got so corrupt, but the vast majority of the population, especially the badly educated parts, kept voting for them because of their part in ending apartheid. I’m a little mad at Mandela, I know why he did it, and he also deserved retirement, but he really should have led the country at least one more term.

CanadaPlus ,

That’s exactly what I’ve heard too. Eventually they have to fall; ending apartheid was huge but even the most traditional public won’t remember forever.

novibe ,

That’s… not true? Monogamy was not the primary form of bonding through humanity’s history. It actually is only recently a global phenomenon, mostly due to European colonialism and the spread of Christianity.

You really need to show some data or sources to backup such a claim tbh. It contradicts most of anthropology of bonding and relationships.

DogMuffins ,

You’re right, but is it noteworthy that societies with monogamy ultimately outcome teddit.hm others?

Not saying it’s “better” just now successful in an expansionist kind of way.

CanadaPlus ,

Well, here’s the Wikipedia. To be clear, I’m counting a society where elite men might have multiple wives as still monogamous, since that’s not representative of an average member of the population and the wives themselves are still bound to a single partner. Maybe that’s a terminology error but for the sake of this question I think it’s clearest.

And yeah, as someone pointed out there’s an amount of infidelity in every human society, but it’s generally neither endorsed by the legitimate partner or society at large, at least not as an actual relationship.

novibe ,

The wiki says out of ~1200 societies studied only ~180 were monogamous. And that 16% of the monogamous were not strictly monogamous. I don’t know why the wiki would help your case.

CanadaPlus , (edited )

If you didn’t read the rest of the paragraph, you should. It was comparing against variants of polygamy, plus 2 cultures that had polyandry, which I discussed elsewhere. Western-style polyamory didn’t even make the rankings. I can only think of one other culture (the Mosuo) that might count.

Like I said, it might be an abuse of terminology to call this all monogamy, but natural language is inherently imprecise and this isn’t an academic audience that can digest heavy jargon.

neshura ,
@neshura@bookwormstory.social avatar

I think monogamy will continue to be the default MO of relationships although divorce will become more common as life expectancy keeps increasing. I also think acceptance of other relationship models will increase but I doubt they’ll become prominent among lower classes, having one partner already is a lot of work and people with little in terms of money and perspective are unlikely to be able to afford that full attention for another partner. (yes cheating is a thing, it usually also involves either a reduction in relationship activity with the cheated on or a relationship light with the affair partner)

shinigamiookamiryuu ,

All forms of relationships will fluctuate as legal options throughout time. Polygamy is no different. Polygamy used to be common in certain parts of the developed world and is still common in places like the Middle East. Heterosexual monogamy is just the thing that it happens won’t fluctuate, this is as it’s like an axis mundi of relationships. That said, everything you describe is inevitable as a phase.

That said, I don’t consider a relationship invalid or “less valid” no matter how many people are involved, their genders, their race, their creed, their medical history, how close they are, etc.

YoBuckStopsHere ,
@YoBuckStopsHere@lemmy.world avatar

I see a future where you’ll need a contract to have a child and it will include support for 21 years between both DNA donors. Most people will lack the financial availability and would not qualify for parenthood. Illegal pregnancies would result in 21 years minimal prison sentence for both DNA donors.

With that, two person contracts will replace the religious concept of marriage. It will require an equal support for both partners financially. The contract would allow separation for domestic violence or failure to produce a human child. No Divorce would be authorized under any other circumstances. No new contracts would be authorized for a new partner if a DNA donor child is under the age of 21.

So yes, if you enter into a contract to produce a child, your stuck with that choice for 21 years.

Ranjeliq ,
@Ranjeliq@programming.dev avatar

What a wonderful dystopian future where rape victims (of any gender, mind you!) get punished.
And no divorce either, because humans are very well known for doing well-calculated and all around perfect long-term decisions.
Look, I know why would you want to have something like this in place. But what you have written won’t work (and for several reasons, yes there are more that I just stated above), and more so - it will backfire massively.

waterbogan ,

I would have thought that in the instance of rape the burden of punishment would fall entirely upon the perpetrator, i.e. the rapist. Fair point about divorce though

waterbogan ,

Currently in most of the Western world we have very stringent standards that have to be met in order to adopt a child (and quite rightly too in my view). But in order to conceive a child naturally? Nothing, nada, zilch. Full blown neo-nazi? Meth addict? Huge track record of violence? Rapist? Paedophile? All of the above? Find a partner of the opposite sex and you’re good to go! This is a massive inconsistency that I can see we will have to face up to sooner or later, maybe not to the extent you propose, but some sort of minimum standard needs to be put in place for being able to reproduce, for the sake of those children that will otherwise be brought up in horrific, abusive nightmare environments if nothing else.

finn1sher ,
@finn1sher@mstdn.ca avatar

@waterbogan @YoBuckStopsHere Genuinely curious, how the fuck would we enforce such a law? How many children will be hidden and illegitimate because they were born to someone not allowed to conceive?

I suppose child protective services or your local equivalent exists for this reason - you could expand their ability to take kids away from birth onwards if the parents meet those definitions.

waterbogan ,

Its a fair question. I think the best approach actually is not to make it illegal for deeply unsuitable individuals to reproduce, but to incentivise them not to. Make contraception freely and easily available, and actually pay them not to have kids. Using a carrot rather than a stick approach like this will be far easier to get across the line and will present less enforcement challenges

Mubelotix ,
@Mubelotix@jlai.lu avatar

I wouldn’t be surprised if we got to Huxley’s Brave New World, but I would hate it

morgan_423 ,
@morgan_423@lemmy.world avatar

If we ever achieve long-term life extension, I could see monogamy being tossed. Being with a single partner for life can serve well if it’s the ideal of both parties in the relationship. But extend that lifespan to multiple times the current one, and I can see it getting pretty iffy.

hellweaver666 ,
@hellweaver666@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

Very true… I love my wife (20 years together) and if we don’t split in the next ten then we’ll probably stick it out until the end. We’re not perfect but we love each other, share a ton of values and make a good team. I don’t think I would want to ever be back on the dating scene though, especially in my late 40’s and 50’s. I would probably enjoy spending my final years relatively alone, doing my own thing and living peacefully.

kersploosh ,
@kersploosh@sh.itjust.works avatar

By monogamy do you mean having one partner, and only one partner, for life? That isn’t the norm. It’s very rare, at least in the western world.

Serial monogamy is the norm, and seems to make the most sense for most people.

Polygamy and polyamory only work for a small subset of people. I don’t see those types of relationships ever becoming mainstream.

mawkishdave ,
@mawkishdave@lemmy.world avatar

We have already seen a huge change as it’s much more acceptable to be in more relationships and getting a divorce. If people start to live a lot longer you will see people changing relationships more. With AI there is already worry about people getting into romantic relationships with AI partners.

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