Take some time, like 30 minutes to an hour, and just try to desensitize from everything kinda. No music, no games, no phone. Whatever I want to do in that time I do. Be it some cleaning, a walk in the woods, just laying there mostly lol. And just think about whatever I need to think about.
A lot of the times it’s negative thoughts, but it’s been more less negative the more I do it. But I’ve found you have to just work through those negative thoughts and feelings and let them be. They will always be a part of me, doesn’t mean it has to always be a hurtful thing. Lessons are best taught the hard way IMHO, and all I can do in try to be a better person. Once I started letting those bad times play out and think just how I can be better, I thought about them less as I gave myself more time to just freely think.
After a while, those times where I’m disconnected from everybody stopped being frightening and now are something I happy partake in.
I can keep writing a bunch on this lol, but I heard a thing where when naming the top 5 people you love, you should be number 1. Not in a selfish, narcissistic way but you are going to be the one that’s always there for you. So may as well try to be your own best friend.
To be frank, I can’t. There is a compounded problem in my case - my only major social contact is my mother who’s wound up being rather controlling. My father left, my sister is reducing contact with her, my family on my father’s side has moved away from us for obvious reasons, and I never really had much of a friendship in school, or high school, or college for that matter. That leaves me woefully unaware of how to interact in an existing social circle without feeling like a burden to them, so I basically live as detached from society as possible.
Listen to lots of music, the amount of sad love songs in my playlist keeps increasing lol. Work out at home with calisthenics as well, and try bulk when I find the time to do meal prep. Unfortunately most of my real life friends and the person I’m dating live on the other side of the city and I can’t afford a car, so lots of loneliness
As a kid I used to talk to my stuffed animals and this continued until middle school when my folks threw my stuffed animals away. After that I just started gaming more, my folks used force me outside of house and tried to get me to interact with my peers, but to no avail.
The more time you have doing nothing, the more you will reflect upon yourself and sink into depresstion. Play games, watch tiktok, youtube and films/tv shows. Do anything but stay focused with yourself.
There’s the secret. Self-reflection to assess what’s lacking. Acknowledgement that you probably don’t have the tools to fix your problems, so go to someone else to get those tools. This may mean therapy (not to cry on someone’s shoulder for $$$/hr, but to learn techniques to deal with your shortcomings). And then work. Lots of work, probably for years. And finally, when you think of the terrible mistakes you made before (and they may only be terrible to you), remind yourself that you’ve dealt with or are dealing with the mistakes you made before and forgive yourself for those things.
And be prepared for the likelihood that this process may well go on for the rest of your life, even for big things. Wallowing in your past failings or escapism to avoid them doesn’t solve the root problem, although a little escapism now and then can be a good break from the hard work of self-improvement.
I focus on spending time with friends and family when I can. And video games when I can’t. I stopped pushing myself to do things I didn’t want to do also, that helped a lot with being disappointed in what I achieve. BG3 is nice therapy these days for me.