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How do you handle being upset about something online?

like either a dumbass posting stupid shit, unfair bans, idiotic arguments, etc etc. i feel so incredibly stupid letting it affect me at all, but then also there’s real feelings mixed in there because it’s a real argument i give a shit about to some degree. so it’s this odd double crossing where i know it’s stupid but i process it as being real.

bonus points for not answering ‘go outside drink water read a book’ etc etc

rufus ,

Don’t feed the trolls.

waterbogan ,

Be thankful that this is the biggest problem I’m facing!

Kristho ,

When I start being upset, I stop being upset and be awesome instead 😅

EyesEyesBaby ,

Write a reply, and then, after about 5 sentences I hit cancel.

borlax ,
@borlax@lemmy.borlax.com avatar

Log off and touch grass.

Not even trying to be a dick, but I’ll go water my gardens lol.

Laticauda ,

Step away from it and avoid engaging. Let it fade into memory. Distract yourself with something you enjoy or find fun/entertaining. Don’t give them your attention or energy, and don’t go looking for more stuff that will make you mad. It’s hard but it does work if you stick with it and don’t let yourself get stuck thinking about it over and over. If absolutely necessary, vent about it to a friend, get the salt out of your system without inviting it into your life directly. Only engage with something that you think deserves your time and energy. Just because it’s a topic you give a shit about, that doesn’t mean that someone being a dickhead on the internet deserves any emotional investment or emotional labour from you. Not letting yourself engage with something that upsets you can feel frustrating at first, but after a while it will begin to feel very freeing. You will start to feel less obligated to devote too much mental real-estate to things that upset you and shitty people who don’t deserve the time of day from you. You will then feel less of that immediate urge to dive in and get involved in an argument, which will likely only upset you. Instead it gets easier to move on and let it fade to white noise in the backdrop of your thoughts, until it’s gone completely.

That was my experience at least when I started having this issue and decided to just stop getting into it with stupid online strangers.

freamon ,

An interesting thing about Lemmy is that if you delete your comment, it also nukes every comment underneath it. So if you say something, and then people are giving you a hard time about it, and then you go out for a walk and are still annoyed about it, you can self-destruct and take them with you (this isn’t based on a true story of course, but if it was, I’d say it’s terrible in that it discourages engagement and deletes someone else’s actually-correct info, but it’s a good way to get over it all)

n3m37h ,

except you can reply to the so called nuked comment and it re appears

willsenior ,

I got old

CurlyMoustache ,
@CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world avatar

Same. The opinions of other do not matter. At all. I have a nice beer that I can drink instead.

paddirn ,

Alot of times I’ll write up something, and usually take a minute away to do some cursory research. Sometimes I find my initial reaction was wrong and I’ll be like, “Glad I didn’t post that shit!” Other times I may just stop caring after spending some time away. By the time I come back I just don’t feel like continuing and just close out.

If I’m still feeling pumped and irritated, then I stick with it and keep building up the argument and write whatever dumb shit I’m gonna write.

I usually stop reading notifications and replies a few days after the fact, to distance myself from it.

Fizz ,
@Fizz@lemmy.nz avatar

If an argument is upsetting or frustrating me then I will stop replying. I like to argue for fun and as soon as it’s not fun I try to disengage because there is already enough angry people on the internet and I don’t want to be another one.

If it’s an unfair ban, I’ll post one comment saying it’s unfair and possibly insulting the mods. Only one comment otherwise it turns into a fight and I get banned to.

The reason why I don’t really get upset by internet arguments is because I remind myself that we don’t know each other and never will. We both have completely different world views and perspective and that’s fine. I’ve also been on the internet a long time and learned the hard way that arguments on the internet are a pointless waste of time if your goal is to get the other person to change their mind.

You also never know how serious another person is. I once strung a youtube comment section argument out for 8 months. My position was that space was not real and this guy was an idiot for believing the footage was real. Of course I believe space is real its just funny to say its not and watch people lose their minds.

victron ,
@victron@programming.dev avatar
  1. Put down the fucking phone.
  2. Lit a joint.
  3. ???
  4. Profit
paraphrand ,

That only works until the joints start making you paranoid.

victron ,
@victron@programming.dev avatar

Lmao that almost never happens, and if it does, you kinda know it’s the herb acting up. Nothing to worry about. Absolutely nothing. No one is gonna die.

BitSound ,

Sorry for the Reddit link but lemmy.world’s not letting upload images and I’m on mobile so don’t want to transcribe this, but just imagine the person you’re arguing with is like this:

i.redd.it/abynwb2aewo71.jpg

callyral ,
@callyral@kbin.social avatar

Transcription of the image in @BitSound's comment:

A Reddit comment by user "YARGLE_IS_MY_DAD":

"I remember I got into an argument on reddit awhile ago with a person over Italian food. It got to the point they were following me into other subs to harass me.

I clicked on their profile to block them and their most recent post was them drinking their own piss on r/piss. At that moment I realized I had spent so much pointless time arguing about the taste of food with someone who drinks their own piss as a hobby. This site is a shit hole."

BitSound ,

Thank you 🙇

Black_Gulaman ,
@Black_Gulaman@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

This is actually also prevalent here on lemmy, gosh, the gate keepers here are insane, it borders mental illness.

Sometimes I just block without engaging.

LongPigFlavor ,

Ask yourself this. Will this matter to me a week from now? If not then walk away and move on.

ReallyKinda ,

I tend to think that dogmatic opinions are not changeable via online discourse. You cannot rationalize someone out of these positions—that kind of change has to take place in person with some semblance of real human care and connection involved. So, I try not to post with the intent of changing the mind of someone already committed to a dogmatic opinion. That said, I think it can still be fruitful to reply to these people occasionally in situations where I think other people reading the thread might benefit from the information. My dad has one particular troll on his Facebook friends list that he occasionally replies to just to give the troll’s wider network an alternative view to consider if they feel like it.

Behaviorbabe ,

Situational.

First, if it's directed at me, I do not engage. Like, at all. If someone is trying to get my attention with shitty behavior, they're not getting it. If it's the guy on my discord meme channel who posts incel memes, I really have do have to remind myself not to engage. That one is harder, because I feel like they're taking away from the quality of the space, I don't want them in my orbit AT ALL, but they are part of the greater community, and this channel sort of quarantines their brain vomit. So again, I never engage with them, but I deliberately engage with other posters and community members who are productive and positive. In the short term, it's not rewarding, but in the long term I do feel much better about myself. And finally, sometimes I really do need to step away--maybe it's into another game, another community, etc. Sometimes I do need to take a break, seek other forms of entertainment and reinforcement. The main thing is not to continuously expose yourself to things that are aversive to you and just stress and stress. You have to break it somehow.

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