Three different relationships. They ended because…
…neither of us was mature enough to actually do what was necessary to stay together.
…for the exact same reason as her friends consistently distance themselves from her: she’s entitled, irrational, and selfish.
…what she actually wanted wasn’t a long-term relationship, just some emotional comfort. But both of us got a bit too excited with the relationship, so it lasted more than it should.
If you realise that the other person is just seeking emotional comfort, ask yourself “am I OK with this?”. If you are, it’s fine; if you aren’t, it’s better to break the relationship in a friendly way, and move on. Just don’t fool yourself by thinking that the relationship will last. (I wish that I did that. I didn’t. Living and learning, they say…)
And open doesn’t mean like sharing whatever is on your mind. Like telling her that her sister is like a tiny bit hotter. Open is like, “Hey Im upset today because of work and want to be alone for a few hours.”
Those who get it become excellent partners.
I think. I dunno. My wife and I have been together for 15 years now.
That’s me right now. Went through a breakup because, in hindsight, I wasn’t properly communicating my needs. We still get along very well which makes me think it could have worked out.
I got mad and threw them out after the millionth time they tried to gaslight me. Everything they wanted was important and had to happen ASAP. Everything I wanted was excuses trying to make me feel bad for them.
When someone is never willing to change their behavior to accommodate you and expect you to constantly, run. Just wish I’d realized the pattern sooner.
I was overwhelmed by changes in my life and bottled it up until I freaked out at my loved ones. Years have passed, and I’m still pissed at myself for that childishness. Healthy ways to blow off steam are a must.
She was absolutely right, we were better off as friends and I only wanted a relationship because i didnt want to be alone anymore. It hurt a lot at first and I lost one of my best friends, but it was for the best for sure.
Every breakup was totally predictable, and for a/multiple VERY good reasons. I don’t regret any relationship I’ve ever had. Some I learned some things that immediately made me a better person, others took me reflecting later on, to make me realize things that ultimately helped me improve as a person. Regardless I learned something from every relationship/partner. A lot of them were red flags to avoid, and traits I couldn’t be with, but I learned things
Every breakup I went through was because I wasn’t an attentive partner. I’ve been happily married for almost 10 years now, so I figured it out, but I was just young and not ready for a long term gig.