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Raisin8659 ,
@Raisin8659@monyet.cc avatar

Often, although I suspect that I just feel bad, and need to make up stories to justify the bad feelings. So, it doesn’t have to be existential.

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Every day since I was in junior high about. Knowing that I have nothing to really look forward to except working a job I don’t really want to afford to barely keep myself alive right up until the day I die, alone and forgotten.

Kittiesmom13 ,

At 50+, I get it almost daily. I never had it before. Not sure if its the state of the world we live in now, aging, or a combination of both. All I know is I’m glad I’m old and won’t be around to see some of the stuff I’m scared of.

TaleOfSammy ,
@TaleOfSammy@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Not enough of these say “hourly” for me to be comfortable answering.

Are y’all not freaking out every second or-…?

Rottcodd ,
@Rottcodd@kbin.social avatar

Almost never.

I used to have it a fair amount, and medicate myself to avoid it a fair amount as well, and then just about exactly 20 years ago, in the span of about three days, I started feeling sick, got more and more sick, went to the doctor and discovered I had cancer, and had emergency surgery. Then I went through about six months of really awful chemotherapy.

I definitely wouldn't recommend having cancer as a cure for existential dread, but it worked for me.

Sombyr ,
@Sombyr@lemmy.one avatar

I used to experience it 24/7 a few years ago, before I was medicated for the countless mental disorders I have. Nowadays, I don’t think I’ve experienced it in at least a couple years.

I’ve just decided at this point that I don’t care if my life has any sort of meaning. I still do fun things and have passions, but I don’t do those to give my life meaning, I do it to just feel good for now.

And days, sometimes weeks and months where I wake up and think “I don’t want to do anything. I just want to sit and rot.” I just do that. Makes those days easier to get through. Doesn’t matter if my existence has no meaning for a while. Doesn’t matter if it never does again. I’m just ok with whatever happens.

And one day when I die, I’ll be ok with it. To me, no matter what I do it’ll all eventually fade away with time. Eventually, nobody will remember me. But the particles and energy that made me up will always exist, and the things I did will help determine their final resting place at the heat death of the universe. All I have to do to make a permanent mark on the world is simply exist.

But I dunno. I’ve been off my meds for a bit for various reasons, so maybe I’m just going crazy.

Tigbitties ,
@Tigbitties@kbin.social avatar

Weekly. I'm pushing 50yo too. My industry is dying a slow death.

toddalon OP ,

Not sure to up our down vote lol

benwubbleyou ,

It depends on where it comes from. There is a defeatism that comes from my cynicism, but there is also the existential dread lying awake at night that I deal with as well.

I’m curious about what specifically it is stemming from? In your post you mention feeling aged out in an industry you have become extremely accustomed to. Do you feel like your value is very much driven by what you do? If you were to be aged out and eventually replaced do you feel like a large part of yourself would be missing?

In regards to how often I experience dread, it can be an every day thing. But it depends on what it comes from. There is the dread from feeling powerless to change my environment or culture I am in, but I have found personally that living to bring joy in the small things helps with that. If the dread is from questioning my purpose if there even is one, it’s the same line of thinking for me as before.

I have no clue if that provides any value but I hope you find peace amidst what you’re going through.

toddalon OP ,

+1 Wisdom

RemembertheApollo ,

Not worried about being dead, really. I didn’t exist for millennia, I got my time in the sun, I won’t exist for the rest of time. It hasn’t bothered me.

Dying on the other hand sounds like a painful, grief-ridden, stress filled misery. I really don’t want to have anything to do with a drawn-out death. That’s what bothers me.

can ,

Depends on how we define it. I’ve dreaded my existence most of my life.

Bunnylux ,
@Bunnylux@lemmy.world avatar

What industry?

toddalon OP ,

Software development

Clipper152 ,

Depends on what “existential dread” means.

saltesc ,

Never. Life’s continually shaping and changing; was always going to. It’s easy to roll with it and just do whatever. It doesn’t matter if things don’t work out because I can do other things I want.

Maybe become a travelling food critic. Seems fun, cheap, and relaxing.

Maajmaaj ,
@Maajmaaj@lemmy.ca avatar

I’ve experienced it since 4th or 5th grade. I began embracing it in my teens with the help of nihilism. Now, I usually have the thought of “nothing matters, and we’re all going to die” around 2x a day. It’s really more of a mantra at this point though.

Zathras ,

As I have gotten older, the frequency of episodes have decreased. In my early 40’s now. I would say it occurs at least once every 3-4 months as opposed to weekly in my teens.

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