There have been multiple accounts created with the sole purpose of posting advertisement posts or replies containing unsolicited advertising.

Accounts which solely post advertisements, or persistently post them may be terminated.

demesisx ,
@demesisx@infosec.pub avatar

I’d go rob the people that made my entire 20’s and 30’s into indentured student loan servitude for exactly the dollar figure they stole from me plus the insane interest that they tacked onto it because they owned politicians who eliminated all avenues that I could’ve used to get out of that contract.

The figure they stole from me: $197,355.49

MisterNeon ,
@MisterNeon@lemmy.world avatar

I’d go to the art museum and consume copious amounts of hallucinogens.

HootinNHollerin ,

I did that at the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam

PrettyFlyForAFatGuy OP ,

i got baked in vondelpark before going there

MisterNeon ,
@MisterNeon@lemmy.world avatar

Great museum, I saw the “Potato Eaters” there.

shinigamiookamiryuu ,

Illegal Legal immigration.

PrettyFlyForAFatGuy OP ,

I didn’t even think of that. i could apply for US and EU passports

hagelslager ,

Why’d you go for a US passport considering their globally reaching tax laws?

PrettyFlyForAFatGuy OP ,

most Americans living and working abroad don’t end up actually owing anything. But remember: Even if you don’t owe anything, you will still have to file an annual tax return.

So i pay an accountant to file a tax return once a year. Seems okay. It’s a powerful passport

andrewta ,

Why do so many every single year go for us passports and us citizenship?

fckreddit ,

I would move to Scandinavia, maybe Denmark or Netherlands.

Nemo ,

The law does not currently prevent me from doing anything I want to do.

PrettyFlyForAFatGuy OP , (edited )

I know of an exploit on a horribly designed website for a national car park company that would allow me to write a script that would effectively give me and anyone else i know free parking for ever for all car parks administered by this company in the country (which is a lot of car parks).

So i’d do that

Corngood ,

I love that you have a very specific and arguably moral crime in mind, and it inspired this post.

PrettyFlyForAFatGuy OP , (edited )

tbh, i was inspired by a post with the same title while lurking on reddit. i have a rule about not posting there though so i bought the conversation here

SteposVenzny ,

I keep my head down. No legal consequences isn’t the same thing as no consequences.

Hegar ,
@Hegar@fedia.io avatar

I'm a renter, so I'd throw a brick through each window of my property manager's tesla.

lattrommi ,
@lattrommi@lemmy.ml avatar

Crime means breaking the law, correct?

Nolocation is named, so I will assume this refers the laws of physics and reality.

I would:

  • expand time so that it lasts a near infinite duration, contained entirely within this day of no crime
  • transmute a bunch of the rocks in my apartment into gold
  • alter my DNA to include working wings like a bat, a prehensile tail like a monkey, gills like a salamander, enviromental adaptability like a chameleon that’s selective so I can hide these enhancements from others
  • one more enhancement related to a very specific part of the anatomy of a horse or blue whale, or whatever it is people want these days
  • remove all genetic defects of my body, like susceptability to cancer and addictions, grant it full immunity to diseases, put it into a perfect equilibrium with near instantaneous regeneration and longevity and thus allowing my life to last as long as I desire
  • create a star from nothing and collapse it in a way that stores all of its energy into a pocket sized battery with perfect functionality and adaptability that is nearly indestructable
  • hold hands with two chicks at the same time

It’s fun to dream of the impossible.

Zerlyna ,
@Zerlyna@lemmy.world avatar

Rob Fort Knox.

Rip the toupee off trumps head and get a good picture.

PrettyFlyForAFatGuy OP ,

you still gotta deal with security though remember

667 ,
@667@lemmy.radio avatar

But security be off committing their own crimes…

BluJay320 ,
@BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

All that for $0 and a shitty toupee?

saigot ,

Assuming we got some time beforehand to prep, blow up a pipeline or 7

Jourei ,

Man, I gotta brew something up in case a Crime Day comes up.

I’d like to do some proper money laundering but I’d need dirty money first. Idk, if skill wasn’t an issue, I’d hack the bank and erase my debt? No, make the bank owe ME.

Chainweasel ,

Jaywalk then torrent a movie.

oxjox ,
@oxjox@lemmy.ml avatar

Rob a bank.

PrettyFlyForAFatGuy OP ,

it might be legal but you still have to deal with security

xmunk ,

You’re thinking small fries…

Rob Elon Musk.

HubertManne ,

if I still had my last dog then walk her without a leash.

BuboScandiacus ,
@BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz avatar

> Tries to rob a bank

> gets shot

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • [email protected]
  • random
  • lifeLocal
  • goranko
  • All magazines
    •