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HubertManne ,

if I still had my last dog then walk her without a leash.

Chainweasel ,

Jaywalk then torrent a movie.

Professorozone ,

Speeding. Oh wait… nevermind.

lattrommi ,
@lattrommi@lemmy.ml avatar

Crime means breaking the law, correct?

Nolocation is named, so I will assume this refers the laws of physics and reality.

I would:

  • expand time so that it lasts a near infinite duration, contained entirely within this day of no crime
  • transmute a bunch of the rocks in my apartment into gold
  • alter my DNA to include working wings like a bat, a prehensile tail like a monkey, gills like a salamander, enviromental adaptability like a chameleon that’s selective so I can hide these enhancements from others
  • one more enhancement related to a very specific part of the anatomy of a horse or blue whale, or whatever it is people want these days
  • remove all genetic defects of my body, like susceptability to cancer and addictions, grant it full immunity to diseases, put it into a perfect equilibrium with near instantaneous regeneration and longevity and thus allowing my life to last as long as I desire
  • create a star from nothing and collapse it in a way that stores all of its energy into a pocket sized battery with perfect functionality and adaptability that is nearly indestructable
  • hold hands with two chicks at the same time

It’s fun to dream of the impossible.

Xiisadaddy ,
@Xiisadaddy@lemmygrad.ml avatar

I would steal a single nuclear icbm and take it to a pizza hut and just leave it there. Just seems like it would cause some interesting conversations.

PrettyFlyForAFatGuy OP ,

i imagine the engineering required to get an ICBM to a random pizza hut would be worth a conversation too

Hegar ,
@Hegar@fedia.io avatar

I'm a renter, so I'd throw a brick through each window of my property manager's tesla.

demesisx ,
@demesisx@infosec.pub avatar

I’d go rob the people that made my entire 20’s and 30’s into indentured student loan servitude for exactly the dollar figure they stole from me plus the insane interest that they tacked onto it because they owned politicians who eliminated all avenues that I could’ve used to get out of that contract.

The figure they stole from me: $197,355.49

SexMachineStalin ,
@SexMachineStalin@hexbear.net avatar

Help myself to around €200,000 worth of now-free iPhones from the warehouse

anonochronomus ,
@anonochronomus@hexbear.net avatar

This is 100% fed posting. I’m not telling you what I got up my sleeve!

PrettyFlyForAFatGuy OP ,

the feds cant do anything if its legal though right?

Zerlyna ,
@Zerlyna@lemmy.world avatar

Rob Fort Knox.

Rip the toupee off trumps head and get a good picture.

PrettyFlyForAFatGuy OP ,

you still gotta deal with security though remember

667 ,
@667@lemmy.radio avatar

But security be off committing their own crimes…

BuboScandiacus ,
@BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz avatar

> Tries to rob a bank

> gets shot

saigot ,

Assuming we got some time beforehand to prep, blow up a pipeline or 7

SteposVenzny ,

I keep my head down. No legal consequences isn’t the same thing as no consequences.

MissJinx ,
@MissJinx@lemmy.world avatar

I would rob some things I want. Not the money, only the the stuff hahahahaha

PrettyFlyForAFatGuy OP ,

What’s top of your list?

MissJinx ,
@MissJinx@lemmy.world avatar

A bambu lab X1E printer. haha I’m a poor nerd

Im_old ,

Nice try mr. Copper! 😝

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