Talking over the top of me. If what you have to say is so much more interesting that what I was already saying, maybe you should be saying it to a paying audience somewhere else.
Lack of interest, like they’re just waiting their turn to talk about what they want to talk about and not actually listening to me.
The other big one off the top of my head is not liking any animals. I get most people eat them, but if you straight up don’t like anyone else you’re kinda scary. No thank you.
My interests are more about the actual engineering involved, like it’s crazy how we can throw a piece of metal kilometres away to within a metre. And there’s something satisfying about how they fit together. But yeah I wouldn’t trust anyone with guns.
queer phobic. I’m not queer but many of my friends are. I don’t need that negativity in my life.
smoker. Maybe a pass if they are actively trying to quit. Maybe. Most active smokers I’ve known have kind of been assholes about it, though.
littering. Sometimes combined with the above when smokers throw their butts on the ground
being a jerk about people having healthy hobbies. Like, just let someone enjoy some video games or bird watching or whatever. I can’t with people who are like “omg that’s so childish you still [play games/read fiction/go to the zoo/whatever]?”.
being anti-consent. I’ve met a few women who are like “just do stuff and I’ll tell you if I don’t like it” and I’m like lady there’s some “stuff” that can be done that by the time it’s happening , the damage is done. Let’s just have a conversation about what we like and what our boundaries are.
Rudeness to cashiers, wait staff, housekeepers, children or elderly people. If you are mean or rude to these people I assume you think you matter more based on social standing, and can’t be bothered to even be polite. At that point I don’t care if you are nice to me.
I must be misunderstanding this one. That sounds like you want a person that buries their feelings and pretends to be joyful all the time. It’s perfectly human to have a bad day and on occasion be a little shitty.
If you’re speaking of them being shitty most of the time about most things then I can see your point.
Edit: Grammer is important when trying to communicate without misunderstanding.
Why would I be talking about the first one? Toxic positivity is complete and utter bullshit, and I’m tired of people telling me I can’t complain about other people for whatever reason.
Yes! It’s crazy how noticeable it is when I’m in the city, rather than out here in the boonies with all the geezers. Why do you do that, fellow youngs?
I’ve half a theory it’s a new boomer generation and these things are cyclical, you get a boomer one every third. 70 years back from 20 years old today you find the Boomers. 70 years back from Millennials you find the dirty 30s. 70 back from the eighties you find the flappers.
… Doesn’t that include every generation, calculated that way?
I’m skeptical it’s generational. People just chill out in that way as they age. And not to say the geezers are totally nice either, they just don’t do active dick measuring anymore. They know who’s in the club, and that I’m not, and will throw me a bone out of good manners anyway.
Absolutely false. It’s a universal truth of our species to seek status, everyone does it.
Your statement itself is essentially an attempt to gain more status. You’re likely not part of “urban” and “younger” environments, thus “badmouthing” them raises your status comparatively.
My telling you this is an attempt to sound intelligent, which raises my own status.
Humans are all about resources (look at how everyone wants to make more money). Status effectively means access to (human) resources. When you have status, you can tell someone what to do or think and they’ll do it or believe you. When someone does something for you or believes what you tell them, you don’t only have access to your own resources, you effectively have access to their resources as well, so in the end, status is more important than having resources yourself.
The managers/bosses in a company have status. The musicians in a band playing at a pub have status. The pastor at the church has status. The millionaire has status. The politician has status. The teacher at a dance class has status.
These are easy examples. But there are a myriad more, especially more “sneaky” ones. Status doesn’t have to be obvious/institutionalized like the examples above, status is part of every single human interaction.
The “popular friend” has status. For example, they might organize gatherings that people actually come to. If another one of the friend group, that has less status, tried that, less or no people might come. I’m sure you noticed something similar.
Or some gossipy/overly friendly person in the office has status. They make little friends everywhere, give people small meaningless gifts, pay attention what’s happening and offer people information (also a resource) for free. If they suddenly start badmouthing someone (even if that person has not deserved it and only angered them for some trivial reason), they might cause the badmouthed person lots of trouble through reducing their status.
Of course, status-seeking behavior is not necessarily bad. A philanthropic, intelligent, always (actually) being nice person also gathers status. People like them, they say true things that help people, which gives them status. They give people favors, like inviting them for food, which also gives them status. And so on.
As you can see, status-seeking behavior is literally everywhere. Our psyche is built to seek more status and it’s one of our main drivers in life. For example, if you want to get good at playing an instrument, your driving force behind that desire is seeking the status that comes with it. You might say it “is just fun”, but what is fun but a motivational force of your psyche to make you do something? Fun things are fun because doing those things gave an advantage in an evolutionary context. The status that comes with getting good at an instrument and being able to make other people feel good through music is the ultimate “goal” of your evolved behavior.
So yeah, once you understand this, you actually see status-seeking behavior everywhere. And almost everyone is completely unaware of it. I myself am essentially looking for status right now by explaining this to you, I give you a “smart” explanation demonstrating my knowledge that thus makes me look intelligent. There is no direct advantage to me explaining anything to you. It makes me feel good to share my knowledge, which is why I do it. It feels good because demonstrating knowledge/intelligence raises my status.
“My” alternative is to not treat every human interaction as transactional maneuvering to curry favor. It’s an incredibly strange commodification of immaterial concepts that rejects or ignores the complexity and nuance of human emotions and motivations. It’s simply an inadequate theory.
It’s hard to answer your request because, you see, your statement is like saying: “Everything is just atoms, so everything is basically the same”, it is “reductionist” of higher values, which even atheists have, but the statement itself cannot be denied, nor replaced with an alternative.
Edit: I read your other replies, and you seem to not need this one, to ignore it.
I know what status means, but I didn’t realise what status-seeking behaviour could be referring to, since it was vague. I know you tried to reduce your response to a level that everyone could understand, but that was unnecessary. People have the internet now.
For future reference you could try defining status in a single sentence, which allows people to look it up in a search engine or dictionary without room for confusion/vagueness.
I myself am essentially looking for status right now by explaining this to you
That’s not true. You’re taking one thought and extending it to try to interpret all of human society with. I’ve made the same mistake before. Of course, your original thought isn’t completely wrong, but you stretched it to almost irrelevant (but not unrelated) levels.
So yeah, once you understand this, you actually see status-seeking behavior everywhere.
No, I’m afraid I don’t. What you call status seeking can be called survival in some cases, enjoyment in some, and a waste of resources in some. Calling it status seeking is a misuse of the term and gross reduction of the behaviour’s quirks.
Perhaps a better term would be power-hungry person. But maybe that’s not the intent of your thought.
It makes me feel good to share my knowledge, which is why I do it. It feels good because demonstrating knowledge/intelligence raises my status.
That all may fall apart when you realise your knowledge is biased too much towards a single concept. Or too narrow minded.
The abused want freedom from abusers. The enslaved want freedom from the slavers. The poor want sustenance from the rich. The not-poor want greater quality in their life.
None of that is status seeking, unless you twist the meaning. It’s hurtful to call it that.
You’re taking one thought and extending it to try to interpret all of human society with.
That’s absolutely not true. I’m saying that status-seeking is a part of almost all of our unconscious decision-making processes, not that it’s the sole part of our decision-making process. A part != Interpret all with it. Of course there’s other parts, like you say, survival.
I can not convey all my knowledge and thoughts in a single comment. Even though I tried to shorten it, you still find too long. The “it’s only a part” I found obvious, thus I didn’t stretch it, but you would have needed it to be included. You personally didn’t need the other parts that you found too long. It’s basically impossible to know what you need to talk about when explaining something without a conversation, because we don’t know each other’s knowledge base. It’s even more impossible in a forum-style format, where one comment is read by potentially every human on Earth, each of which have vastly different knowledge bases. What is obvious/superfluous for one is not for someone else.
What you call status seeking can be called survival in some cases, enjoyment in some, and a waste of resources in some.
Do all these things not play together? Isn’t having status a way to survive better? Aren’t the activities that are enjoyable also the ones that allows us to survive (in a non-modern, ancestral world context in which we evolved)? Isn’t having status enjoyable for most?
I don’t think it helps “smoothen” interaction at all. Of course it depends on the exact situation, like I already described, if it’s about helping other people or not affecting anyone negatively, it’s completely fine.
But for one example, an unaware status-seeking behavior I see very often is having an Instagram account and posting pictures of their life, in an attempt to gain followers. This could not affect anyone negatively… but 99% of the time, it is, because they interrupt moments that should be enjoyed by being present within the moment with trying to get the perfect picture to show to other people what amazing moments they are experiencing.
The “unaware” was as much of a part of the turn-off as the “status-seeking”, maybe even more so. I think if you’re aware of your status-seeking behavior, you’re able to find much better ways to apply it than if you’re unaware of it.
It’s basically impossible to know what you need to talk about when explaining something without a conversation, because we don’t know each other’s knowledge base.
Okay, but in this case “status” was a basic word while the “it’s only a part” was something deeply specific to this conversation. It’s not fair to compare the two.
My co worker has straight gum rot, like a few millimeter layer where the gums meet their teeth that’s all whiteish green and they have horrendous breath I can smell 15 feet down wind of the AC system. This is due to their horrible personal hygiene, he has a wife with good teeth, I don’t know how she kisses him, I would vomit.
He’s only in his early 30’s and also just had to get one of his K9 teeth pulled out.
It seems like sometimes women (in specific) start with these crazy high expectations, but then start lowering them during the relationship, and never stop lowering them.
There absolutely is such a thing as being too accepting of bad behavior from a partner. That’s just healthy boundaries. Letting your gums rot probably should be outside that scope, if they can help it at all.
Soo, what then? Are Windows phones still a thing? Even Copperhead or Lineage are Android forks. Based on my PinePhone that one’s not really ready for primetime.
Even if they were. Windows is on the list of turnoff OS. Just use a flip phone for calls and a raspberry pi with the raspberry screen for scrolling through lemmy. Now i am imagining someone writing an essay in a Starbucks with a raspberry a propped up screen an a little keyboard.