For those who struggle with dating, what do you consider to be your biggest hurdle?

some_guy , 9 hours ago

Dating apps suck now. Thankfully, I met the right person and got rid of them.

Before smartphones, when comms on apps were more like emails, I had much better openings. I can’t be funny or interesting in a few sentences.

intensely_human , 8 hours ago

Better to have loved and gotten rid of, than never to have loved at all.

z00s , 6 hours ago

Nobody can. You get judged on your photos and the decision is already made before you type a single word. The conversation is just to find excuses to ghost

DLSantini , 1 hour ago

• Decades-long crippling social anxiety
• Money

sparr , 2 hours ago

Finding women for whom my appearance isn’t a dealbreaker. I have moderate to serious rosacea and acne on my face. That filters out 90%+ of women before we even speak to each other.

Pacattack57 , 7 hours ago

Finding things to say is the most difficult. I often get flustered and have nothing to say. Basically become brain dead in front of people in general not just women.

RBWells , 8 hours ago

Biggest hurdle? My husband.

Joking! Really, I never dated when young, just hung out in groups, right? And there would be hookups and then eventually that leads to some relationships. So I never got the hang of the one-on-one dates.

Even after my big breakup with my ex, didn’t really date because while I intended to, my now husband had other ideas, he had been dating for some years and said he knew when we met what he wanted so it got serious pretty fast.

But as you say it’s hard to meet people - I understand that, I don’t know how young people find people if they aren’t running around in packs like we used to. That network of people who know you, and also know other people, and might introduce you if they think you’d like each other. Dating apps are more like job searching.

FireWire400 , 8 hours ago

Not being completely turned off dating in general by past experiences…

psmgx , 9 hours ago

Face. After that maybe personality

HEXN3T , 9 hours ago

Meeting people as crazy and wacky as I am outside of online spaces. Yay, someone from Australia likes me!

Gjolin OP , 8 hours ago

I find meeting people at all to be the biggest hurdle.

HEXN3T , 6 hours ago

Yeah, I pretty much only meet people from connections anymore. I don’t remember the last time I actually met someone because I went out of my way to talk to them. It sucks.

z3rOR0ne , 6 hours ago

I’m an astoundingly selfish person, and unapologetic about it. Makes for having relationships, romantic or otherwise, pretty much impossible.

I’m middle aged, dated, had relationships in the past, etc., and honestly just don’t have the drive to make relationships work. I do the bare minimum to keep my professional relationships in tact, which honestly is exhausting enough, and otherwise just keep to myself. It’s so much easier than when I was trying so hard to pretend I was interested in where another person was coming from or what they were going through. Now at least that effort ends after I clock out for the day, and there’s less socializing where I work, so there’s less of those kinds of social expectations overall.

synapse3252 , 4 hours ago

Huh, reminds me of myself except the unapologetic part (maybe i’ll change over to that someday). I do feel like the selfish/stubborn part of me is insurmountable and incompatible with the types of relationships i envision for myself. Nothing else to contribute, just here to share my thoughts and/or commiserate

CanadaPlus , 7 hours ago

Geographical isolation.

snownyte , 4 hours ago

I just don't think people like me for me and want to be with me because there's something of me and about me that they want to be around with. I can find something to be attracted to with almost anyone, but for some reason, it's the opposite with me.

greyw0lv , 3 minutes ago

Time commitment. Not being physically attracted to anyone in my geographic area. (Long distance)

yuuunikki , 6 hours ago

Tbh I just think women would find my hobbies stupid