From The One Sentence Persuasion Course by Blair Warren: “People will do anything for those who encourage their dreams, justify their failures, allay their fears, confirm their suspicions, and help them throw rocks at their enemies”
I’ve found this helpful when trying to convince anyone of anything. The book breaks it down more, of course, but is probably not worth reading Vs the various summaries you can find online.
My summary, at least what I took from it is that you must try to understand the person you are negotiating with/pursuading. Figure out what they want, or what they’re afraid of, and offer that.
I work in procurement. That means I negotiate with suppliers all day, every day. I’m the one the team calls when they need something fixed, and want something better than using a big hammer or lighting everything on fire.
The absolute best tip was courtesy of my first boss in the field:
"Always be prepared to walk away and say ‘No, thank you’. "
You won’t look weak (except to the wrong people). Instead you’ll come across as empowered, that you know what you want, have no tolerance for games, but also can be trusted. Very few people like people who always say yes, no matter what anxiety says. In order to be here, it’s important to have options and choices you can accept. Be ready to jump rails if it looks like you won’t get your first choice. That’s how good negotiators in my field do it - they have several acceptable options.
It’s still not easy to do. It requires perseverance and flexibility. Allow yourself to practice in lower-risk situations.
This is an article I always reference for job offer negotiations, but the principles would apply to negotiation in general. The most important concept to understand is: you can split a pot between two parties in ways that result in both of you getting more of what you want.
Yeah, but I would say it’s less important that you can find a win-win solution, and more important to get in the mindset that advocating for your own interests is not the same as being selfish.
A lot of people fail at negotiating because they don’t want to be seen as selfish, but especially when it comes to negotiating with a corporation, they’re banking off of you feeling that way. Know your worth, and make sure you’re fairly compensated.
On a related note, this is also the point of a union/collective bargaining and why companies hate them. They know that some people are better advocates for themselves than others, but they know that most people are bad at it. Divide and conquer.