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Men, are you physically affectionate with other male friends? (eg, hugging, snuggling, playful wrestling, etc). If you aren't, do you wish it was more socially acceptable if it isn't in your culture?
I have hooked up with several of my friends, we cuddle often, and are not afraid so show affection, but we’re all homos so I guess that’s less odd. But I have met straight guys who are very confortable being platonically affectionate with us. I feel like society prevents me from being touchy out of fear of being called gay. It’s not gay to lay your head on your bro’s lap. Those thick tights are comfy af.
When I was in highschool, it was normal for everyone in my mostly male friend group to greet each other with hugs. I remember my dad saying he found it weird. Didn’t change anything.
Yeah, I can’t help but feel like social media, the loss of third spaces, and a lack of affection (physical or otherwise) between friends and family plays a part in people being so lonely. This post has been really interesting, and has run a far larger gamut of responses than I thought I’d get.
Everybody has physical contact between themselves and their dates/SOs. But I was really interested to hear about people’s physical connections outside of just dating. Male-male platonic affection seems exceedlingly rare, so I was interested in hearing what it’s like in people’s everyday lives. :)
I’m not very physically affectionate with anyone anymore and I don’t know why, but I used to be very affectionate. Now, like, when I want to hug someone, throw my arm around them, or… anything, I freeze up and internally panic unless I know the person pretty well and they invite the contact first.
With that said, meh. I don’t care if it’s a man. I don’t enjoy wrestling, but other forms of affection or physical contact are fine. I have no sexual interest in men, so I guess I don’t even think about it that way.
In my culture, it is almost weird for men to have feelings. Everybody knows that men aren’t emotionless machines, but they sometimes forget that. So you can guess that hugging a man as a man is somewhat weird. Before COVID, it was common to give handshakes; after that, pretty much every interaction stopped. Yes, I would really wish that it became more socially accepted. Because I think, When everybody interacts on a physical level, people will be less tense and more relaxed.
Edit: Well I need to correct myself, I think it is not really a social problem, but it rather is a me problem. I’m not very comfortable with touching somebody so it could be that I’ve been ignoring those interactions for years.
This thread has been really interesting, and a couple comments seem to really hit the nail on the head in terms of social isolation and the fallout it can cause. I think the pandemic definitely played a part in that.
However, this thread also gives me a lot of hope. The comments and experiences are far more diverse than I thought they’d be :)
Hugging, definitely. No playful wrestling since high school, and what there was there was definitely more motivated by competition and testosterone than affection.
As for snuggling, I wouldn’t want to snuggle with anyone that I didn’t have at least some sexual attraction to, unless I was in serious emotional distress and just needed it for the reversion to childhood. So I don’t snuggle with guys. I don’t know of many straight women who snuggle with their platonic friends either, beyond like sharing a blanket for a movie.
I am bisexual and somewhat poly. With some of my friends I have a more publicly physical/intimate relationship. We may hold hands, hug, or kiss. In private, we cuddle and… do other things as well. I imagine the straights of Lemmy will largely tell you they don’t cuddle their male friends while the queer folk will give a different answer.
Not necessarily. I’ve noticed female friends tend to be much more adept at physical affection on the whole. Men tend to have a much wider range, with some hugging you (male) like a 2x4, whereas others shimmy over to you and rest their head or arm around you on a chairlift.
Mostly, I wanted to hear how male-male friends and family treated each other physically, without the complication of SOs or romantic partners fuzzing the responses (since people tend to already be physically affectionate with romantic partners).
It’s been really interesting to hear, the responses are much more diverse than I was expecting, and it’s really heartwarming to see.
Wrestling, I’m not sure about, but a lot of people platonically snuggle. A lot of it is cultural and also down to your upbringing, but not everyone sees physical affection as something you can only get out of romantic relationships.
Yeah, that’s become the norm I feel. Plenty of my guy friends are huggers, even when we see each other pretty regularly. But not all of them. Plenty of them are just handshakers, some are dappers (especially after lockdown/covid panic), and a few are just “don’t touch me.”…-ers.