markusl

AutisticAdam , 11 months ago to actuallyautistic

I'm autistic, so I guess it's natural that I will never, ever be able to understand exactly when is the correct time to add my point to a group conversation.

Watching the conversation move onto a totally different topic, while a really good point is left unsaid, is a very specific autistic sadness.

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic #autistic #autism

markusl , 11 months ago

@sentient_water

Hey, there, I'm right here in the room! 😄

@jyrgenn @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

markusl , 11 months ago

@nellie_m

And it's great to be among friends. 🙂

@sentient_water @jyrgenn @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

markusl , 11 months ago

@sentient_water

Broadly speaking, it's going well, thanks. It's a difficult time family-wise — there's been a recent death in the family, and Mrs Wife has just been taken into hospital (for something non-life-threatening) — but learning that I'm autistic has been a blessing, not a curse, because it's helped me to understand who I am and shed new light on the past. I've been reading a lot, as you might imagine.

1/

@jyrgenn @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

markusl , 11 months ago

@sentient_water

After hearing advice from other autists that coming out publicly might not be a good idea, I'm planning to split my Fedi presence in two. I've just set up an alt, where I won't be talking about ND stuff, and I'll set up a second new, where I'll mostly be interacting with ND people. If it works out well, I'll drop Fosstodon (low char limit, no formatted text). IRL friends and colleagues will only get the non-ND account ID. 😄

2/2

@jyrgenn @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

markusl , 11 months ago

@Susan60

About autism, or about other special interests(TM)? 😄

@sentient_water @jyrgenn @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

markusl , 11 months ago

@Susan60

I only ask because I'm guilty of info-dumping about all sorts of things over the years. Mrs Wife has the patience of a saint. Now that I know it's an #ActuallyAutistic trait, I'm learning to bite my tongue but, oh my goodness, it's hard...

@sentient_water @jyrgenn @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

markusl , 11 months ago

@Susan60

Thanks! That's kind of you.

Mrs Wife is profoundly allistic (she checked by taking some of the tests on <https://embrace-autism.com/>, but there was no doubt in my mind), so I've no idea how you might hint to your partner that he may be autistic. I do know that you're putting a lot of thought into this and I'm sure you'll do the right thing without any help from me.

@sentient_water @jyrgenn @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

markusl , 11 months ago

@sentient_water

That's rough. I'm sorry. I hope this place provides some kind of lifeline.

@Susan60 @jyrgenn @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

markusl , 11 months ago

@sentient_water @jyrgenn @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

On a personal note, I'm delighted to say that Mrs Wife is now back home and pottering about contentedly. She'll be stronger in a day or two, but everything's going to be fine. 🙂

markusl , 10 months ago

@tkk13909 @Susan60 @sentient_water @jyrgenn @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic Ah, yes. I hadn't spotted that there was a ™ symbol on Android. Thanks.

Thumptastic , 11 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic I've never had issues with eye contact. I have issues with intensity when I talk to people. However, with the pandemic and people being awful, I like wearing my N95 and hate looking at people in the eye that I don't know. Anyone else?

markusl , 11 months ago

@Thumptastic @actuallyautistic I definitely had problems with eye contact: I didn't start doing it until someone told me to, when I was 20. I wear my FFP2 because it's the logical thing to do, rather than to hide from people (I think! 😄). I've been consciously deciding to make eye contact for so many decades now that the pandemic hasn't affected it, AFAICS.

raantuva , 11 months ago to actuallyautistic

How to make and keep neurotypical friends as an Autist? Any ideas? I feel the lack of neurotypicals in my life is doing me harm. @actuallyautistic

markusl , 11 months ago

@jamesmarshall

Is that the right URL? When I tap it, I just get a to-do list.

@raantuva @actuallyautistic

markusl , 11 months ago

@davidvasandani

Ah, thanks. The toolbar is completely invisible with Dark Reader enabled!

@jamesmarshall @raantuva @actuallyautistic

StrassenKatze , 11 months ago to actuallyautistic

Pretty much my experience so far, lol @actuallyautistic

markusl , 11 months ago

@Aerliss @StrassenKatze @actuallyautistic Sometimes, NTs can do it too. Mrs Wife has a new friend with an autistic son. The friend knew about my autism before we did.

It makes me wonder how many other people have known or strongly suspected it over the years, and never said anything, at least in a form I was able to understand at the time.

samiam , 11 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic so many thanks to those who have made feel feel heard and welcome here in the past weeks. the story thus far: 41 years of "muddling thru" depression, anxiety, misc mysterious health problems, etc when one day a new friend (very rare!) shared with me that they are autistic, and respectfully asked me if i might be too.
this [re]kindled lots of thoughts and feels and sent me down a path of recognizing and uncovering some fairly autistic-seeming traits and behaviors that i had been ignoring or suppressing. i have lately been thinking of myself as "provisionally autistic" which is how i'm trying to walk this line between, one the one hand, not mentally framing Autism As One True The Explanation For Everything and stretching things to try to force them to fit; and, on the other hand, not giving in to Autistic Imposter Syndrome. i want "provisionally autistic" to be a comfortable in-between place where i can "let myself be as autistic as i am" without "trying to be autistic when i'm not" and just observe myself and see how it goes. if that makes any sense?

but (and this is a question mainly to all you late/recent adult [self/]dx folks out there, but of course also anyone else who wants to respond):
How do you KNOW?
i'm stuck in this place where lots of things seem relatable and plausible but there is no sense of AHA IT FITS. there's no THIS FINALLY EXPLAINS IT. i know it's early for me yet -- i've been taking this seriously for weeks not years -- and i probably have to be patient with myself . . . but ggghhhghg.
maybe i'm just venting? i don't know. i'm having a day.

markusl , 11 months ago

@samiam

Do keep talking to the autistic people here. I've found them to be a really friendly and welcoming bunch. You won't be excluded just because you're not sure yet or you aren't pursuing a formal diagnosis. Take your time. Meet the locals and see if you feel like one of us. If you do, that's great -- you'll have learnt something profound about yourself. And, if not, that's fine, too.

4/4

@actuallyautistic