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@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

looneybyron

@[email protected]

my old account is: https://neurodifferent.me/@looneybyron

Autigender (she/they), queer, AuDHD, cPTSD, OCD, Ehlers-Danlos
Witch, writer, goth, nerd
Love reading, baking, history, D&D, Rugby Union
Live in New Zealand with my partner and twin girls (we’re all ND/disabled)
Speak English, German, French

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

pathfinder , to actuallyautistic
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@actuallyautistic

It's day.

Pride, is both a celebration and an affirmation of our existence. It is the latter for me that is all important. As someone who very late in life realised I was autistic, I had spent a lifetime knowing only that I was different, but not how. It was a hole in me that I couldn't fill, a sense of something missing, a lack that always felt more about how broken I was than anything. As a consequence it became something to hide, to mask and to be ashamed of. It was my dirty, dark secret and the core of my existence. The knowledge that no matter what, I was wrong and always would be.

Realising I was autistic, filled that hole. It taught me to see the difference as, if not always positive, at least natural and normal. I was never broken, I was just trying to function in the world in the way that was right for me. A world, that in so many ways, was hostile to that, unforgiving about difference and those who stood out too far. I had, in fact, been simply trying my best with the tools that I had, the tools that came naturally to me, even if no one else ever saw that.

Having a day to remember this. To remember the past and the pain and the blind struggle. To remember how far I've come and how much I've learnt and have yet to learn (because finally I can). To be able to stand out and say "yes, I am", is important not just for us, but others walking this path. For too long being autistic was a dark and terrible secret. For too long its truth has been hidden behind ignorance and misinformation. That is what days like this are for and why they are so important. To show the world that autism and being autistic, is nothing to hide and nothing to fear. Happy pride day everyone.


looneybyron ,
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic 💕 you’re amazing at being your autistic self!

looneybyron ,
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic I guess we all are. Will take a few generations yet until autistic kids can grow into autistic adults without trauma.
You are now what I wish my dad would have been able to become. Sadly I don’t think he will ever accept who he is.

looneybyron ,
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic my father sadly was not in a position to ever face the fact that he is autistic. He saw the devastating effects of his father and uncle trying to deal with their autism. It’s a really sad story that ends with me! I am embracing my autism and I am raising my children to be proud of who they are.

looneybyron ,
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic Awww! Thank you! I feel like I have truly found my calling. I am happy for the first time in my life, happy to be who I am.

ImmedicableME , to actuallyautistic
@ImmedicableME@mastodon.online avatar

@actuallyautistic Is there a resource somewhere that lists senior living options that are autism-friendly? Need U.S. information, but would also like information for other countries if available.

looneybyron ,
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

@ImmedicableME @actuallyautistic my autistic dad is 74. Both his equally autistic father and uncle died before they’d reached 60. They all have heart conditions connected to stress which might be connected to living in a neurotypical world. But that’s just one family history. Would like to know if there are any other out there?

looneybyron ,
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

@EVDHmn @ImmedicableME @actuallyautistic my dad does meditation but he is really struggling with the fact that he IS masking to fit in. He doesn’t want to appear “other”. Might be a generational trauma thing.

looneybyron ,
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

@EVDHmn @ImmedicableME @actuallyautistic sadly we have generational trauma about being autistic. I am the first to be “out and proud” so to speak. My father gets very upset when his routines are interrupted, but he doesn’t really allow himself to experience autistic joy either.

looneybyron ,
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

@EVDHmn @ImmedicableME @actuallyautistic I wish my dad could think like that. There has been a very unhealthy string of autistic/narcissist pairings in my family so he doesn’t feel safe to just be himself sadly.

looneybyron ,
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

@EVDHmn @ImmedicableME @actuallyautistic that sounds lovely! All my finding out I was autistic has done is that my narcissistic mother now feels utterly absolved from being responsible for any strange behaviour I might have exhibited as a child. And my dad won’t talk to me about the topic because he doesn’t want it to be true.
Luckily my partner’s family is nearly all neurodivergent so we talk about stuff a lot.

looneybyron ,
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

@EVDHmn @ImmedicableME @actuallyautistic all I can do for my family from afar is raise awareness of the autistic family members’ needs to the others (who are as a whole mostly narcissists). Not sure how well that is going. I had to take myself out of the equation to be able to live a happy life.

looneybyron ,
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

@EVDHmn @ImmedicableME @actuallyautistic yeah, I thought I was broken and hated myself for being unable to keep up for over 40years. I am so much happier now and unapologetic about my autistic self expression.

looneybyron ,
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

@EVDHmn @ImmedicableME @actuallyautistic my partner’s family is unapologetically autistic/ADHD and “I’m peopled out” is a legit reason to want to stay at home. I wish my family wasn’t so bogged down by trauma.

looneybyron ,
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

@EVDHmn @ImmedicableME @actuallyautistic my family is a danger zone, mostly due to narcissistic influence. Nobody trusts anybody else or talks about their feelings.

looneybyron ,
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

@ImmedicableME @actuallyautistic I have ehlers da los. My great grandfather had it too, but he was blessed with living healthy and made it to almost 80. Hard to say in hindsight. I got varicose veins like my mum.

looneybyron , to random
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

Still trying to figure out who in my family is neurodivergent and how.
Seems like there is a pattern emerging: If both parents are neurodivergent, chances for the kids to be is at almost 100%. If only one parent is, chances seem to be about 50/50.
Anyone know if there are actual studies on that or is there just not enough data from past generations?

PsychTink , (edited ) to actuallyautistic

Autistic Adult Bingo

@autisticadvocacy @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistics @audhd @neurodivergent

https://youtu.be/0THO5gteINk?si=cpoB560Cynf7fKjz

looneybyron ,
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

@PsychTink @autisticadvocacy @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistics @audhd @neurodivergent I can easily get bingo just from the thumbnail picture 🤣

Private
looneybyron ,
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

@willaful @romancelandia I really need to read Happy Place, but I’m trying not to buy new books. Might try the library.

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