earthmothering9

undefined_variable , 4 hours ago to actuallyautistic

One of my favorite pieces of expression is Henry Rollins' "I know you". During my darkest summer all those years ago it, hearing that opening line for the first time felt like I was walking, as I'm wont to do, my head down in the rain, crying, as I'm wont to do, behind my sunglasses, and a total stranger suddenly grabbing me by my arm, stopping me, gently but firmly... "I know you." If you haven't heard it, I won't spoil it for you, except for one line I'm going to talk about next. Give it a listen but be warned, it can be mighty triggering.

That one line is "The rage that made you stagger".

I cut contact with my family after that same summer. Mostly due to my rage that made me stagger. And I've staggered a lot, before and after that summer.

I've gotten a reputation of being a bit of a hothead. I'm that kid who goes toe-to-toe with that asshole teacher, even being just half his size. I'm the one who has a shouting match with that stickler of a boss in the middle of the office. And I'm the one who gives you a sound verbal trashing when the argument gets heated and you're being an obstinate idiot. Sorry about that, by the way, I'm sure you're a fine person otherwise.

I've been trying to reconnect with my family and just came back after spending a week with them for the first time in over 20 years. And I'm exhausted. I could feel all those same feelings that made me cut contact with them starting to emerge. I made it all the way back to the station before I finally snapped. I just want to get on the train, OK? On the train back I felt dejected, ruminating over it. Nothing's changed. Why do they have to be so pushy all the time, why do I have to keep repeating myself over and over again, why can't a simple "no thanks, I'm fine" suffice, why do I always have to snap before they st...

Rage has been the only way I've gotten people to stop. Rage stops people very efficiently, in fact so efficiently, that at some point my brain just hardwired it there for stopping people; why bother trying to ask and to reason when it's just going to fail, rage will make short work of the situation. Not anger, anger is a catalyst, it allows you to to work on things, change them. Not always for the better, but change they will. Not hate, hate seethes, hate waits, hate destroys slowly and methodically. Rage is the nuclear option. This. Stops. Now.

Compared to that summer all those years ago, this summer I know me. Not that well yet, but a bit at least. Well enough to notice that wiring there, where it's not supposed to be. So, Henry, yeah, you knew me.

@actuallyautistic #autism #actuallyautistic

earthmothering9 , 4 hours ago

@undefined_variable @actuallyautistic You can't change the people around you but you can change the people around you.

Boundaries are essential for quality relationships

chestas , 5 hours ago to bookstodon

20 books that have had an impact on who you are. One book a day for 20 days. No explanations, no reviews, just book covers (with alt text). Day 2

#books @bookstodon #20books #20books20days

earthmothering9 , 4 hours ago

@chestas @bookstodon I remember reading this in my history degree

nevele , 1 month ago to bookstodon

Question: Has the use of quotation marks for dialogue in fiction fallen out of favour, or has this always been a thing and haven't I picked up on it before?

I'm now reading the third book in a row (currently The Prophet Song by Paul Lynch, before that The Promise by Damon Galgut and No Country For Old Men by Cormac McCarthy) and all three don't have dialogue marks.

Is this a stylistic choice on the author's part? Is this to make the pages seem calmer? Is this to save ink on pages? And is this really a new thing or haven't I just woken up to it before?

#bookstodon #quotationmarks @bookstodon #reading

earthmothering9 , 1 month ago

@nevele @bookstodon Tum Winton is one of these authors too

Susan60 , 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

Question. Some dogs can tell if a person has cancer, presumably by their smell. Does anyone think that some autistic people might be more sensitive to such changes in body chemistry? Not as much as a dog, but more than most other people? @actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic

earthmothering9 , 8 months ago

@Susan60 @Dr_Obvious @independentpen @homelessjun @actuallyautistic Having lived on Melbourne for 11 years, I had adjusted to changeable weather. Coming to live in Perth again, I had to unlearn the habits, leaving umbrellas at home for months at a time, going out without a jacket!

theautisticcoach , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

As many of you here, and as all of you who have met or worked with me, know, I am an Israeli.

I’m also a life long peace activist for Israel-Palestine.

Unfortunately, MANY of you have taken the last few days to attack me, call me a murderer, lecture me about the world I grew up and lived in for 35+ years of my life, dare to speak down to me and over me, erase my history and lifelong dedication for Palestinian rights, and even wished me to die.

Others of you have taken the opportunity to call me an antisemite, a race traitor, a horrible person, a hypocrite, a terrorist, and erase my history and lifelong dedication to Jewish life and making Israel a better place to live.

Yet, VERY FEW of you have asked how I am. How is my family? How are my friends? How are YOU?

Well, no. I have my family & friends in deep crisis. Many have lost their own other family and friends, parents, siblings, kids and lovers - some by bullets, others by fire, others by kidnapping. A comrade of mine lost his parents. An other had their 16 year old son taken into Gaza. Too many people I know or am connected to have been murdered or taken. And I use the word murder, not killed, because sleeping civilians in their home or at a party are not military combattants. Babies aren’t targets.

I also have Palestinian friends who have lost families in Gaza from the bombs currently falling from IDF planes. My heart aches for them too as theirs does for me.

But many of you only care about death when one side fits your own narrative and unformed and ignorant beliefs.

So no, I’m not OK. I’m not OK at all.

Keep reading in the next post

@actuallyautistic @mazeldon

earthmothering9 , 9 months ago

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic @mazeldon THis is not OK and I am so sorry. I would hope you could find a better, kinder world than the one you have found among the followers here. I am shocked too, this is not on. Block them and watch them go away.