arisummerland

ToddPM , 4 hours ago to actuallyautistic

I get very irritated when people (including and especially my family) don't answer my question but instead answer the question they think I meant to ask.

I'm not great at conversation, I think partially because I'm always thinking about how to say things and even rehearsing a future conversation in my mind. (Granted, this causes a lot of supposition on my part regarding the flow of the imaginary conversation.)

@actuallyautistic

chevalier26 , 1 month ago to random

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic Anyone ever tell you that you were being "too negative" or a "Debby downer" when stating facts about something? Just happened to me earlier with my family. In this case it was reasons why I prefer not to travel often (routine change haha). The whole time I was thinking, "but I'm not trying to be negative..."

farah , 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

I’ve been reading about “stimming in autism”, which up until now was very confusing to me mostly because that’s the one point kept being repeated in the community being a must for an autistic individual. And I can’t relate to that at all.

Then I came across something that describes the purpose of ‘stimming’ is to deal with extra energy. Then it kinda hit me, I’ve never had the need to stim because I’m a low energy person in general.

I get overwhelmed with activities when they involve raising heart rates (yes, THAT too). I like quiet things, dead of night etc. Once at a time in my life, I was pretty sure I could hear flow of electricity.

So my question to the #ActuallyAutistic community: do you think stimming is a must for autistic people? Do you relate to it? Anyone know of any low energy stimming that gets overlooked?

Thanks! Much love!! 💕 #Autism #Neurodivergent #stimming @actuallyautistic

Ilovechai , 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

I don't have the spoons to explain why I feel my neurodivergence is making this worse, but I need feedback or insight from other ND people on a unique experience. This will be a long thread (added in replies) but I'm hopeful there will be a few kind readers who either relate or have something supportive to share.
Here goes:
1/
@actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd
#recoveringfromreligion
#LateDiagnosedAutism
#actuallyautistic #neurodivergent

lifewithtrees , 2 months ago to actuallyadhd

“What do you want to do 5 years from now?”

🤔

😬

🤯

I am having a difficult time visioning 5 years from now, what I want to do and then how to get there.

Some of this is due to the chaos of the last few years, but I also think it could be a challenge due to #AuDHD

Also I am 42 so midlife stuff?

That all said, how do you vision 5 years from now?

@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic

Uair , 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

How are you with animals?

I tend to throw off the wrong vibe for people, but get along with even the iffy animals. Dogs that don't like most people warm to me.

Just wondering how much of that is autism and how much me. My dad hates animals.

pathfinder , 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

Much to my shock I realised that I could be autistic when I was 53, roughly 7 years ago. And it was a shock, even though I suspect a very small, well hidden and very much ignored part of me, might have suspected. No one told me about it, or suggested that it might be the case. I did not see myself in relatives, the way so many of us do. I just happened to come across an autism test online and for no particular reason, took it.

It was that, that started me on my path to realising and finally accepting the truth that I was autistic. But, looking back, I sometimes find it hard to understand how I didn't know earlier. So much of my life now, just screams autism at me. But even ignoring the horribly ableist and medieval view I had of what autism was, the main reason why I didn't was probably because I could mask, both from myself and others, so well.

It was, I realise now, a life lived in denial. A denial of how much things bothered me, how much effort I had to put into things. Even a denial of the things I knew I couldn't do. Because this is the thing about appearing to mask so well, for so long. It is, in a sense, a lie. I couldn't mask well, if at all. Not all the time. Not in all situations or circumstances. There were things I just couldn't cope with, or even begin to deal with. But the trick was, that I either knew about them, or learnt the hard way about them and then I could manage my life to avoid them. Because they were things I could live without, without affecting how I appeared to be coping. Things that didn't affect the way I lived, even if they did affect my sense of worth. Because, how broken did you have to be, not to be able to go to crowded events, like a sports match, or a concert? Or to be able to deal with the socialising of a large gathering, or a family event, without having to hide in the kitchen, or forever outside, or break down in a toilet?

It was all part of how I masked myself from myself. The internal masking, as I like to call it. If I couldn't cope, then I was broken. If I couldn't stand something, then I was too picky, or sensitive, or I simply needed to learn to ignore it. And somehow I did learn. I learnt how to cope with noise and smell and visual overwhelm. I learnt to not let things bother me. To a point at least. There was always a step too far, when I couldn't, or didn't have the energy any more to maintain it. And this did take energy, a lot of it. Something I've only realising now that I don't have the energy to spare to even try it. Or the ability to, in many respects now that I know what I was trying so desperately to hide from.

Because when the truth is known, it's far harder to deny it. It's far harder to live the life where appearing to cope, is as good as coping. Where blaming yourself, is easier than seeing others faults. Where ignoring the pain, makes the pain go away. It's hard to see the mask as a benefit and always a good thing, rather than the shield and tool it always was.

#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic

pathfinder , 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

Autistic brains be stupid. Well, obviously not stupid, they just seem to work, or not work, in mysterious ways.

The main one that has always got me, about mine, is that I have no memory for sound, absolutely none. I can't remember a song, or a sound. I can't remember what my parents sounded like and none of my memories carry, for want of a better word, a soundtrack. I can remember what I was thinking and what others were saying, but not hearing them say it, nor any other sound. I also don't dream in sound, at least as far as I know. All my dreams are silent.

And yet, and it's a big yet. I have an excellent memory for voices and sounds. Like many autistics I have near perfect pitch, at least when I'm hearing others sing, or music playing. Just don't ask me to reproduce it, because I can't. If I meet someone I haven't met for a while, then I will almost certainly not recognise their face, or remember their name, but there is a very good chance that I will recognise them from their voice. I am also very good at detecting accents. Even the slightest hint of one in, say, an actor pretending to be an american, will get me searching Wikipedian to see if I am right about their actual nationality.

So, if I can tell the sound of a Honda CBR engine two blocks away, or a voice, or an accent buried deep, I must have the memories to compare against. And yet... nope.

So, as I said, autistic brains be stupid.

#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic

EVDHmn , 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

Would any of you be interested in doing a weekly audio conference? I have organizer stTus on meetup could do audio and discuss how everyone is doing checkins, talking science, or what it’s like for you personally in the world coping ?
Perhaps zoom audio, no judgements safe spaces etc over the internet ? Discords etc

LehtoriTuomo , 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

Reading about autism and processing what it means in my case is very interesting. But maybe most of all, it's a relief. As I start to write this toot, tears come to my eyes.

I've kicked myself so many times in different situations for not being smart enough. I guess my doctoral degree is counter-proof. Anyway, I've struggled with my identity as a scientist a lot. This has happened especially at conferences. I've felt so out of place there. I haven't been able to discuss many topics. I haven't been able to follow all the talks.

Or when discussing a topic with a research group, I haven't been able to come up with ideas or solutions to problems. Not on the spot, but when I've had the same information in writing and have been going over it on my own, it's been so much clearer.

Therapy worked wonders with understanding what my strengths are. However, it's been even bigger relief to understand that I'm autistic and how it has affected my life. It explains so much.

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

mraharrison , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic Late diagnosed here, last year aged 55. I'm remembering stuff from my life and going "ah, that makes sense" a lot. An example is when I was accused of skipping school(I was waiting for my Dad to pick me up for an appointment, with permission) and I just meekly took a telling off from the Head of House because I didn't have the words to tell her she was wrong.