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DudeImMacGyver

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DudeImMacGyver ,

Two percent? Yeah fuck that, how about they pay their fair share instead?

DudeImMacGyver ,

I pay way more than two percent and I live paycheck to paycheck, that’s fucked up.

DudeImMacGyver ,

sex is better

No it’s not lol, the best sex I’ve had has been with average-ish looking women. Most really beautiful women tend not to put in as much effort, demand more effort/attention, and are often extremely arrogant.

Fine for a one night stand here and there I guess but on average the sex is objectively worse in my experience. Sample size of a couple dozen though so I guess it’s not scientifically valid (I’m done being a ho though, no more research for me; stable relationships are way better anyways).

DudeImMacGyver ,

Correlation doesn’t mean causation, but the trend is there nonetheless. ¯⁠\⁠⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠⁠/⁠¯

Trump supporters gather outside courthouse and ask: Who among us hasn’t paid for sex? (www.independent.co.uk)

Donald Trump has not been accused of paying for sex, but several supporters protesting outside of his trial on Monday wanted to make it clear that they have. It seems the crowds that come out to protest the persecution of the former president are getting smaller, and weirder...

DudeImMacGyver ,

That is one of the worst spots to hit on your leg. They specifically target it in Muay Thai because it hurts like hell.

DudeImMacGyver ,

IR blasters were great!

“Shit, where’s the remote? Oh well, I’ll just use my phone.”

DudeImMacGyver ,

You’ve never lost your remote???

DudeImMacGyver ,

Good thing there’s find my phone

DudeImMacGyver ,

These neoliberal assholes can get all the way fucked

DudeImMacGyver , (edited )

She looks like Putin in a wig and seems to share his views too.

Coincidence?

I’ve never seen them in the same room together, just saying.

DudeImMacGyver ,

Amazing…

…that they have only just now done this.

DudeImMacGyver ,

You don’t need to tell me lol, there have been dozens of companies still asking us to whitelist their shit and everything time, “We don’t do that here.”

DudeImMacGyver ,

They are SUPPOSED to be bound by a code of ethics (except for the USSC, which is crazy), but Canon is a wildly unqualified lackey, so she apparently either doesn’t know or does just doesn’t care

DudeImMacGyver ,

In that case, sorry in advance Linus, I’ll try not to be too much of a bother.

Have you ever encountered a joke edit of a movie while sailing the high seas?

I have been thinking about the Cerveza Crista edit of Star Wars: A New Hope that sporadically splices in beer ads and the Toy Story 3 edit alternate ending where they fall into the incinerator and it made me wonder if people have come across these kind of joke versions, in full, in the wild....

DudeImMacGyver ,

Not sure if this counts but Starwar Backstroke of the West is 10/10

DudeImMacGyver ,

Star Wars badly translated from English to Mandarin, then back to English again.

It’s amazing.

DudeImMacGyver ,

Hopeless situation warriors

DudeImMacGyver ,

Good call

DudeImMacGyver ,

Judge: “Shut the fuck up.”

Lawyers: “Donald, you have to shut the fuck up, seriously!”

Donald: “No!” pouts

DudeImMacGyver ,

Yeah, why not? Wtf am I going to do with them when I’m dead?

DudeImMacGyver ,

“We need to subsidize the horse industry to protect jobs!”

DudeImMacGyver ,

I had 30-50 olives for lunch, so this sounds great!

Paris Olympics lifts intimacy ban for athletes and is stocking up on 300,000 condoms (www.cbsnews.com)

The intimacy ban that had been in place for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics has been lifted for the 2024 Paris Olympics, and the Olympic village, where the athletes stay during the event, will be stocked with 300,000 condoms, Laurent Michaud, director of the village, told Sky News....

DudeImMacGyver ,

There was an intimacy ban?

Did anyone tell the athletes?

From what I heard there’s quite a lot of intimacy that was already a well established tradition at the Olympic villages.

DudeImMacGyver ,

“What’s your most memorable moment from the Olympics?”

“Uhhhh… You know, the… competition.”

DudeImMacGyver ,

Outsmarting and outlasting is a real advantage: We are the apex predator (to our own detriment of course, but don’t sell humans short we’re some scary-ass apes when you get down to it).

DudeImMacGyver ,

I pick a duck: Nobody said it had to be a challenging fight plus duck is delicious.

Bring it on you rapey bastard!

DudeImMacGyver ,

Which includes our cunning and endurance: How would that not apply?

DudeImMacGyver ,

You say that like people don’t improvise on the spot; many are very, very good at it.

…or maybe I have some pocket sand!

SHASHASHA! POCKET SAND!

DudeImMacGyver ,

She’s a teacher and a porn star, but she still can’t spell masturbate…

smh my head

DudeImMacGyver ,

Maybe we should pay our teachers so they don’t have to do more work when they’re done with work so they can do stuff like not starve to death or have a roof over their head?

DudeImMacGyver ,
DudeImMacGyver ,

I figure it’s commentary on the education system?

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