Android and iOS are phones and that is where the similarities end.
I agree. I'm more responding to the ridiculousness of Captain's purported shortcomings of iOS. I daily drive an Arch laptop and a WIndows PC(I also have a 2014 secondhand 128g macbook air which I never use now for obvious reasons), so I have a very odd combination that can run anything. I just like Apple's approach better.
It does have more options like SideStore and Sideloady, though these can't install really large apps (which I use) for some reason