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assassinatedbyCIA ,

It would probably be wiser to implant a bullet in your brain then let that man do neurosurgery on you.

DaddleDew ,

Day 1 after implantation: this is great! I now have photographic memory of everything! Best decision ever.

Day 20: I’ve memorized so much so fast, I’m going to have to go for the next higher up subscription level to unlock more storage.

Day 200: I’m running out of space again. Going for the plus subscription.

Day 600: ran out of storage space again. I can’t afford the next higher subscription. I’m going to have to start deleting unnecessary memories. My brain has lost its natural ability to make and retain memories by itself. I can’t even function on a daily basis without free storage space.

Day 700: I have run out of memories that I’m willing to part away with. I still can’t afford the higher subscription. Luckily there is a cheaper tier. All I have to do is give NeuraLink full access and rights over my memories for marketing and AI training purposes.

Day 900: They have increased the cost of subscription. I can’t afford it. I’m going to lose half of my storage space. I have two days to choose which of my memories to keep. The rest will be no longer accessible to me, but will still be used by Neuralink for their own purposes as they own those memories now.

Day 1200: the chip will no longer be supported next month. I can’t afford the new model. It will be disabled in 30 days.

Day 1235: I have just found this diary. It explains a lot. I only wished it told me what my name is.

noodlejetski ,

yewtu.be/watch?v=G9kyYrM4_tE

Diplomjodler3 ,

You forgot the part where you agreed to let them harvest your organs if you fail to pay your subscription fees.

Plopp ,

Also, suddenly you’re unable to say negative things about Elon Musk for some reason.

Munkisquisher ,

He hopes to woo advertisers back by beaming ads directly into your most treasured memories

uriel238 ,
@uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Of…course he does? Maybe with an evil laugh?

Musk is essentially as close to a supervillain as IRL gets.

linearchaos ,
@linearchaos@lemmy.world avatar

Approved. Let him pay and let Darwin sort it out.

BlitzFitz ,
@BlitzFitz@lemmy.world avatar

Godspeed to all the brain dead idiots who will sign up for this, and will become even more literally brain dead after getting the implant.

billwashere ,

Well I’d like to implant my foot in his ass so….

lemmeBe ,

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

c0smokram3r ,
@c0smokram3r@midwest.social avatar

He shoulda gone first 🧠🔫

empireOfLove2 , (edited )
@empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Downvote because I don’t give a flying fuck what Musk wants and random shit about musk is not technology

Phegan ,

No thank you.

cupcakezealot ,
@cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

sure; it’s not like the monkeys and the first human person you did it to didn’t die or anything…

ech ,

Not to say that anything about the project is good, but the first human implantee is very much alive.

Modva ,

With his ethics there’s no way I’d let any company controlled by him attach itself to my brain.

I have a hard time imagining that for any profit driven corporation, but most especially him.

kokesh ,
@kokesh@lemmy.world avatar

He should be an example and do it himself.

krimson ,
@krimson@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah that’s not going to happen.

Good_morning ,

We can dream

Lost_My_Mind ,

Not if that brain chip malfunctions.

EarthShipTechIntern ,

How would that be worse than the infant idiot we deal with now?

Gullible ,

He absolutely will. Granted it’ll be after all the little kinks like meningitis, aluminum poisoning, spontaneous ignition, malicious hacking, eternal nightmare states, blindness, cancer, and cluster headaches are ironed out. 90% death rate, babyyy

givesomefucks ,

How crazy would it be tho if we found out he really was an early adopter, had one put it in a decade ago, and that’s why he’s so bat shit now?

Lost_My_Mind ,

Did kanye west get one too?

Lemminary ,

They’re injecting microchips! Said no antivaxx about this ever.

EarthShipTechIntern ,

Millions of people would like to implant ethics or reason (or both!) into Elon.

db2 ,

I really don’t understand why anyone is giving that goofball a platform.

sunzu2 ,

He pays for it lol

This is 2024, you should know this.

then we circle jerk him in the comments, so we are also part of the circus

cupcakezealot ,
@cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

nobody is giving him a platform so he had to spend $44b to buy one.

AshMan85 ,

I do not get how this asshole gets approved for this when he can’t even make a car correctly.

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