Phone calls still assume the people on the receiving end are attached to a desk.
Why couldn’t this call be an email? Why would you call, when you know that you are near indistinguishable from spam calls about Microsoft services and Nigerian princes?
If throwing up means to puke, then throwing down must mean to have the shits.
I dunno, English is a funny language isn’t it 😂
Bill Withers' song "Ain't No Sunshine" could be interpreted as Hades and/or Demeter singing about Persephone.
Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone...
It must be challenging to give heimlich maneuver to a choking turtle
It's weird that we enjoy stimulating our fear response
What would aliens think if they leaned we evolved fear as a survival mechanism, but we intentionally seek out situations that trigger our fear response, for fun?...
If I don't lick my finger before sticking it in your ear, is it a dry bill?
As opposed to a wet Willy
Shower thoughts are wasting water.
My city is in the middle of the worst drought in recorded history. My showers are typically under 2 minutes and I have to shower with a bucket to catch otherwise wasted water to use to flush the toilet. I also shut the water down when I am wet enough so I can scrub myself without having unneeded water flowing then start it back...
Shower thoughts are just thoughts but in a shower
You can’t have a shower thought outside a shower so how can it be that thoughts in a shower are outside in the shower?...
Technically, almost all video games are puzzle games.
You could probably make a poptarts are sandwiches alignment style thing out of this....
Wouldn't it be funny if there ended up being a plastic-based life form and they wondered how they came to be...
…and they COULD NOT think of a natural process that could produce plastics in the environment in the amounts required to produce life?...
By improving the performance of a Nerf gun, you "buff" it, which is ironic
Dinosaurs wouldn't be that popular if they were small like dogs
Alternative title: Dinosaurs wouldn’t be that big if they weren’t that big
Snitches get stitches
is actually a rather nice promise to give someone in the USA: “we’ll treat your wounds, you’ll receive basic health care services from us”
Why doesn’t Paddington, who is famously from "Darkest Peru," speak with a Spanish speaker’s accent?
Or is he from one of those indigenous Peruvian tribes that speaks the King’s English?...
Trump wanted to drain the swamp to make it easier for the swamp creatures to get around
One stranger liked what I posted. I hope he liked it :)
Bike shops should take car trade-ins
Cash-for-clunkers but make it eco-friendly
Collecting memes in your camera roll probably serves the same instinct that stamp collecting used to
that said if any FOSS devs want to make an app for categorizing and tagging memes outside the camera roll so i can use it for its intended purpose i will volunteer a (consensual) kiss on the forehead
I wish there was a website where people can upload and view historic photos of roads and places on a map UI
Sometimes I go past an old looking building or see some traces of old signage on a store and wonder what they used to be, especially when those traces are hard to read or obscured.
Why doesn’t Miss Piggy call herself Mademoiselle Cochon?
I wish there was a sloth month
Just a month to celebrate relaxation and not obsessing over the grind. Festivals where people just bring camping chairs and chill together. Companies pandering by giving paid extra time off to employees. And so on.
In 2024 we are now further from the release of the song 1985 than 1985 was from 1985
Why do people say "symbiotic relationship" when they really mean "mutualistic"?
Just realized that "upside down" means "the up side is down", making it upside down
I've gone to lots of secondhand stores, but I've never once seen a raspberry beret for sale.
At this point, I’m wondering if there is enough of a quantity of raspberry berets in secondhand stores to identify the kind you would find in one.