(for context: autistic-me rarely does anything unexpected lol)
I rejoined twitter.
My old acct is gone - so I've lost all my friends & connections. No-one has followed me back & that's triggering massive RSD issues.
But mostly it's just a weird & disorienting thing. An eerie 'walking the empty halls after school' kind of vibe.
Dunno if I have the strength to start over w twitter. I feel so alone there.
And I know Mastodon shuns twitter-using folks (pls don't throw hate at me) but for context: I went back bc I miss sci-fi. That was such a huge part of social media for me. I miss Stargate & old-school Star Trek. I miss being able to post about my fav shows & books I'm reading. I really miss my nerdy friends who would do things like geek out over my vintage sci-fi paperback finds.
I just really miss my friends there. 💔
Has anyone else gone back? Or started over on another platform? Just struggling & wondering if I'm alone. 😢
@ratcatcher I'm glad you're happy here. And I say that w genuine sincerity (no sarcasm intended). A lot of people really seem to love it here. I just...haven't found that.
I know that's my fault. I'm just struggling to figure out why - or where I'm going wrong. I feel like an anonymous poster here. Only a few people ever talk to me (which I'm very grateful for).
Maybe I was more open on twitter? I dunno.
Thanks for offering a Bluesky code. I appreciate it - but I think having yet another place I feel invisible probably won't help. At that point it just starts to feel like the universe is sending me a message & my head does not need to go there. 😢
As an autistic person I quickly found and fell in with other autistic and otherwise ND folks. That led to long and interesting (sometimes almost overwhelming) discussions and useful, constructive and supportive exchanges of ideas.
Although I'm a cishet male, I'm hugely interested in (and strongly egalitarian about) gender and sexuality. I am also politically left wing.
So most of my regular friends here are some mix of ND, socialist, humanitarian, trans, non-binary, gender fluid, gay, pan, etc (and a few furries).
But I've never had that magical ND connection that other autistic people talk about (and as you describe). It's always a challenge for me no matter who I'm talking to - bc social anxiety, trauma, selective mutism & communication struggles.
I saw this a lot in autistic twitter - an assumption that autistic people have it easier w each other. It alienates & isolates those of us who don't. Most of my autistic connections over there were other autistics who also felt like outsiders. 💔
I'm also not political. On some issues I lean left. On others I lean right. Most things are so complicated I just see human beings on either "side" whose feelings/experiences/perspectives are worth considering. For me seeing the big picture is how my brain works.
I'm not big into tribalism. I'm not criticizing anyone who has found their "tribe." If anything I'm devastated I haven't. But that's just another reason I don't fit into Mastodon.
Have you tried (you probably have) following @actuallyautistic group and the #ActuallyAutistic hashtag and just reading stuff (with no pressure to post anything)?
That's how I started. I rapidly found that I identified with a lot that was being said and before long I had my own questions to ask and contributions to make. It grew from there.
@ratcatcher@MelsGarden@actuallyautistic Nick G is an ableist who tries to gaslight disabled people talking about community members being killed by COVID carelessness, by telling them they need not just "therapy" but also to be "watched over," real creepy shit