CynAq , 8 months ago

@goaty

This sounds a lot like the PDA profile of autism, which incidentally is what my autism is like.

By its pathologizing, NT-centric name, Pathological Demand Avoidance, and by the adopted and refined name which uses the same initials Persistent Drive for Autonomy.

Check out this thread from yesterday: https://mstdn.social/@neversosimple/111232812724285156

It's a series of two videos from the YT channel called Autistamatic talking about this exact situation you are trying to express.

I suffered from the negative effects of PDA my entire life. like you, I struggle with engaging in activities that I genuinely want to engage in.

This also agrees really well with the model of Monotropism, about which you can read here: https://monotropism.org/explanations/

@ferrous is the person to talk about monotropism here. Some might say he has a rather personal relationship with it :)

I'd like to talk about this a lot more, and I will do so when I have more spoons. In the mean time, I'm trying to document my own struggles and possible mitigation strategies in preparation for when I find it in me to write about them.

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic