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lulu ,
@lulu@hachyderm.io avatar

In other news, I have pretty much convinced myself that I'm probably autistic.

Shunra ,
@Shunra@tooot.im avatar

@lulu they didn’t use to diagnose it for those of us who could talk.

Also, you may find this podcast enlightening (https://squarepeg.community/podcast/) - it manifests very differently for girls.
I suggest you listen from the earliest episodes, there is a LOT that you may find relevant.

lulu OP ,
@lulu@hachyderm.io avatar

@Shunra Et tu, Shunra? ❤️

I was already aware that adults and those who can communicate are under-diagnosed, that queerness and transness are much more likely, and it took me forever but also - that the typical female masking behavior that makes it difficult to diagnose applies to me too...

Shunra ,
@Shunra@tooot.im avatar

@lulu apparently so, by all signs.

I went the standard path for women my age (diagnosis via child(ren)), but once I knew what to look for - there’s barely anyone non-autistic around.

Masking is huge, of course, and obstructs visibility into the extent, and blocks comforting information.

Oh, and the podcast? It's defined as directed at women of all kinds, not at all exclusive to AFAB.

You count, you are seen.

lulu OP ,
@lulu@hachyderm.io avatar

@Shunra

Thank you for everything you said.

It's still hard for me to include myself with women, even in my own thoughts. I'm working on it and getting seen helps. And I understand what fierce little me had to do to survive and that involved a lot of masking.

Regarding "there's barely anyone non-autistic around", I know right? - but I also think that it's a bit biased by the fact that we tend to find each other and stick together.

Shunra ,
@Shunra@tooot.im avatar

@lulu very few people who don't hyperfocus and peeserverate is willing to put up with my enthusiastic mention of loom weights in casual conversation.

Can’t imagine why, they are so very interesting…

lulu OP ,
@lulu@hachyderm.io avatar

@Shunra

Oh my God, you made me google it and now I want to know everything about them!

Shunra ,
@Shunra@tooot.im avatar

@lulu “Women’s Work, The First 20,000 Years”, by Elizabeth Wayland Barber.

Andthen everything else she wrote.
It’s ~30 years old and is not appropriately inclusive, but please read yourself into the overlap of tech and language.

FWIW, I basically sat on Yossi until he read it, and it was like lightning bolts over his head went off. Paradigm-shifting, even after ~30 years.

Shunra ,
@Shunra@tooot.im avatar

@lulu
Spinning fiber into string is very worthwhile.
It is tangentially related to loom weights (the problem of fiber is: how not to tangle. It wants to tangle.) but doing it oneself answers a bunch of other important questions.

And it takes hair, from a sheep (for example), in one hand, and skill and a weighted stick in the other, and in between them is the magic of humanity.

Yes, it makes me cry every time. Indistinguishable from magic.

lulu OP ,
@lulu@hachyderm.io avatar

@Shunra
That's beautiful and amazing! 😍

Shunra ,
@Shunra@tooot.im avatar

@lulu I'll be right here whenever you read that book and are jumping up and down needing to tell someone, anyone, of how amazing it is.

Like my friend Mary was for me. Like I was for Yossi. And for the (oops) dozens of other people who needed this book so much, to understand about our world, our history, our - everything.

mux2000 ,
@mux2000@tooot.im avatar

@Shunra
You two are amazing. Both of you. ❤️❤️❤️
@lulu

mux2000 ,
@mux2000@tooot.im avatar

@Shunra
Also, in addition to all of @Shunra 's suggestions, I highly recommend following @actuallyautistic and . They're very helpful to me.
@lulu

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