You get a horse and arrive at the castle within seconds but the horse is too old and doesn’t work with the castle.
You remove the horse, destructure the castle and rescue the princess within seconds, but now you have no horse.
While you’re finding a compatible horse and thinking whether you should write your own horse, Bowser recaptures the princess and moves her to another castle.
You have Rust. (the knight in this panel looks very cool, wears sunglasses, and probably has a ponytail)
You’ve been told how easy it is to rescue the princess. Absolutely nothing will get in your way, they say; nobody can possibly get access to your plan, and you can even rescue multiple princesses simultaneously! (in this panel, the knight is imagining rescuing three princesses from three different castles at the same time)
You start working on your plan. It’s elegant and beautiful. You write articles on Medium to tell other knights how to rescue their princess. You tell everyone who will listen about your plan. You become a Rust zealot. You never rescue the princess. (In this panel, the knight is nowhere to be seen, and the princess looks bored in her tower. The knight is across the field, at a festival with the banner “RUSTCONF” flying overhead)
Yup, Scheme was the only programming language taught in our comp-sci department so we could “learn how to learn.” Two years and a broken parentheses button later, and I switched to being a theatre major.
Today, my legal career stands as a testament to the pointlessness of a declared major.
“In the face of ambiguity, refuse the temptation to guess.
There should be one-- and preferably only one --obvious way to do it.
Although that way may not be obvious at first unless you’re Dutch.”
No perl either. Much like python you find a relevant library (in cpan), but unlike python there will be seven different implementations, and any four perl devs will come up with at least ten solutions, nine of which will successfully rescue the princess
Everything will seem to be be going great, but to actually gain access to the castle you’ll have to compare your situation to successful rescues to find the undocumented drawbridge control
C# is about right. LINQ was meant to make things easier, or at least the code easier to read. Instead, you gain this addiction to seeing how much functional logic you can fit into one line of code (or a single multi-line query) while still remaining readable.
The go community is strongly opinionated in unique ways. For example, using libraries is generally frowned upon. You either use something included in the language itself (standard library) or copy/paste the code you wrote in another project. There’s also advocacy for shorter variable names which generally seems counter to the normal “write descriptive variable name” mantra.
All in all, I hope the ideas / opinions came from a good place and then some people took them as black & white rules. But they also come off as one or two people’s pet peeves who got to build a language around them.
“Alright, but you better be outside of a properly locked up and OSHA-compliant castle with the princess by the time I get back, or I’m not compiling”
And then you do that, but you miss a smoldering ember from one of the castles torches, and everything including the horse and princess catches fire. Next time, pick an escape plan that only requires unsafe for the drawbridge.
There’s a totally safe way to do it too, I guess, but it involves building a series of replacement castles, and it’s also totally ugly and sinfully slow.
Rust: You declare the castle type as unsafe and then search for a crate with a rescue_princess function. You discover the princess you rescued is a femboy wolfkin named Pawws. You now have pubic lice and an inexplicable smug sense of superiority.
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