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Where do you even meet people anymore?

I previously made a now-deleted post somewhat related to this topic in the wrong community SHHHHHH. This is more broad.

Barring friends of friends, I have not made a new friend ever outside of school. As someone with a really niche personality, it’s hard to be brave enough to approach new people–nobody’s as weird as I am. I actually used to have a friend group that fit my personality, but it dissolved due to more drama than I can even comprehend. That’s why I’m in this situation, was all of that.

I’ve chosen not to go to college. That’d be my best outlet for meeting new people, but I simply don’t want to deal with debt. So, my time to meet as many people as possible has been cut somewhat short.

There’s a saving grace, though. I’m a furry–this is the niche personality part. Cons would be great, but, to keep it short, I just don’t have that capability right now. I’m not even IT yet, but my fate is sealed.

In the meantime… I am very bored. Thanks for reading.

MojoMcJojo ,

Go to where you first learned how to make friends. Go back to school, take a night class. Found a wife there once.

swordgeek ,

OK, I know nothing about furry social interactions, but non-furry cons - comic, scifi, etc., are all generally quite welcoming.

The best advice I got as an introvert who moved to a different country was that I don’t have to be outgoing, I just have to pretend to be outgoing. Acting, essentially. It was surprising how easy it was to fake sociability, to the point that I made a few friends.

thawed_caveman ,

I was reading this like “this guy should be a furry, it’s what fixed me”

And then you reveal that you’re a furry. Bro, that’s more than a saving grace, that’s absolutely the solution.

Now in most contexts, just being a furry already makes you a subgroup, so you get so socialize off that alone; but when you’re in a furry space, it can get awkward integrating into a new group because the commonality you have is not as relevant. In those contexts, it’s easier to socialize in a sub-subgroup within furry. Like we have this group of 5-viewer streamers that all hang out with eachother on and offline. Being able to draw will make you popular just in general. And then there’s the dancers, hackers, programmers, gamedevs, suiters, activists, kinda subgroups within furry that make it effortless to integrate socially.

The above is true online and off. As far as IRL things go, your local convention will be once a year and that’s probably not enough, if you’re in the US there should be a local scene that will make it a lot more regular. Online and offline feed into eachother.

That’s all i can think of, if you’re a furry you have a chance to not be lonely for long

HEXN3T OP ,
@HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

This is why I consider being a furry a saving grace. For as much as it casts me out of mainstream groups, the furry fandom is known for its diverse, social nature. The issue is just finding those groups that’re right for me, in an absolute sea of groups.

That’s why I said it’ll take time. I’m new to Linux, new to drawing, new to game dev, not new to music, but still new to most things.

thatsTheCatch ,

Meetups and clubs based around certain interests have worked well for me.

Examples: writing clubs, chess clubs, book clubs, hiking clubs, debate clubs, etc.

I have trouble at parties where I have to find things to talk about with people I don’t know, but at interest clubs then we’re all there for the same purpose and there’s a clear thing to talk about! If you hit it off with anyone, then you can begin hanging out outside of the club

AdNecrias ,

Don’t you have masks you use to meet people? Slowly warm in and try to find out what they’re like?

Before remote work, that was one of the adult avenues of meeting new groups of people. Friends of friends are cool when you get involved in stuff they do and you don’t. Dare say, met cool people on the more questions focused dating sites where we didn’t have romantic interest but the conversation was cool.

Sometimes rekindling relations also gets you to meet the people they hang around nowadays…

Resol ,
@Resol@lemmy.world avatar

Find people with similar hobbies as you on a particular community online. Back when I was active on Reddit, I had made two friends this way. Unfortunately, after the whole API shaboink, I left Reddit, and lost contact with one of them.

dharmacurious ,

Similar boat (sans furry), and I’ve recently decided I’m tired of being lonely. I’ve started going to a trivia night at a local bar that someone from my church hosts, even though I end up playing alone each week*, and I found a MCC church (basically, gay church) and went there, where I found a gay men’s discussion group I’m going to attend on Monday. I have two friends, both straight, but I’m hoping to get them and some people other people either through them or through trivia/discussion group to help start a bowling team.

*Even though I’m the only one playing without a team, I’ve come in second twice!

FuglyDuck ,
@FuglyDuck@lemmy.world avatar

Have you considered finding events at your local public library?

they may not have anything necessarily furry related, but mine at least has a lot of incredible events and social meetings. Yours probably has something that piques your interest.

What you’re looking for is a “Third Space”- and libraries are a great third space.

HEXN3T OP ,
@HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Third spaces. An important factor of city planning that the USA has elected to ignore, I’m aware. I’d just forgotten the term.

I like the idea of going to a library. I really need to get back into reading. I have a good few interests not furry related–philosophy, for example–that probably have a home in libraries. I’ll give it a shot.

Mango ,

I’m as weird as you. Fight me.

I’ve met a friend at a Reddit trees meetup in Chicago, one through League of Legends, and a whole group through Minecraft!

Very recently I decided to touch grass and go do my flow arts in a club in my city, and I get all kinds of attention for being a badass, but nothing particularly personal. It probably doesn’t help that I keep turning girls down because I don’t really know how to engage with them. If I were someone else, it would probably be a good way to meet people. For me though, it’s all about that dance!

angelmountain ,

In my country it’s possible to join clubs, for instance for a sport you like. I also like it as a way to meet new people because there is time to talk but also an activity to avoid awkward silences.

Matriks404 ,

Start to learn a language and join a speaking club of some sort. You will definitely meet some new (and open-minded, well mostly) people there.

Knuk ,

Try Barq since you’re a furry

HEXN3T OP ,
@HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

I can’t remember why, but I don’t remember making it past signup. Something with the app is busted? I can try again.

Knuk ,

It used to require a telegram account, it doesn’t anymore

artichokecustard ,

dear onlookers, i swear i am not a furry, dear op, there is this app called Barq that i haven’t made any lasting friendships on, but the people i’ve connected with are weird enough that their interests are usually more likely to line up with mine, my most reliable pokemon go raid buddy i met through it, also i used an app for a bit called Meetup that had a lot of weekly events and stuff on it, went to a few game nights in random cafes around my town through it, so depending on your area that can help

Goodie ,

I’ve had… thoughts on this lately.

I do social dance (wcs) as one of my several hobbies. And I kind of compare ot to church now. We go once a week, we do the thing, and we have a community around it, with community leaders.

The world might be slowly leaving religion behind, but I have to wonder of we’re losing something else in the process.

(Find some WCA classes in your area, we’re all weird as fuck, it’s a often a community of introverts with a niche interest in common, and set rules of interaction (would you like a dance?))

finley ,

Do those Duolingo toons count as ‘people’? We have conversations…

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