I’m sorry dude, I’ve had a lot of family members go through the wringer trying to get disability as well. The one and only person I’ve ever known to get it first try was dying of cancer. The system is made to make people give up when they’re least able to fight it, it’s sickening.
I’m not familiar with any of OC so I’m not going to be any more helpful than a Google search on that front. But oh man, do I hear you on what the lack of sleep from pain does to you. I feel lucky I’m able to get 6-7 hours most nights, minus time spent waking up and trying to get comfortable. Thank fuck Ikea makes comparatively inexpensive foam mattresses. If you aren’t on gabapentin already, it helps with nerve pain and makes a decent sleep aid.
Are you familiar with the idea of pacing? It’s a strategy recommended for patients with ME/CFS to prevent triggering relapses, and I’ve found those ideas to be a useful way to manage chronic pain as well, on the preventative end.
Good luck man, I’ve been dealing with this shit for over half my life at this point. It sucks and it’s hard and it’s not fair and we might actually be living in one of the worst countries to be dealing with chronic medical issues. If you feel like wanting to scream and beat someone bloody over it, well, to me that’s pretty understandable.