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Why is there no sense of "camaderie" in the workplace?

So when I worked in last 2 roles, I’d joke around and have a laugh with colleagues, the workplace culture of those places I guess was more relaxed, but I got that sense of lack of camaderie or fellowmanship from others too during my time working.

Sorry to be naive, but is it because some people look out for themselves and it’s kind of “Yeah you’re a funny guy but uh… when shit hits the fan I ain’t there with you” kind of shtick.

Not saying these guys are assholes or anything, but I just think with the current world in any work industry it seems to be tricky to make real friendships inside and outside of work.

I don’t know if this just me but I notice that big distinction of the joking around and sharing the same invested topics (I.e. video games) but no more than that

TLDR - Confused if people are being genuine, but they don’t really “care” in a sense?

Please let me know if I’m spouting gobbledygook, thank you.

MisterNeon ,
@MisterNeon@lemmy.world avatar

What you’re saying is a bit gobbledygook. I don’t want to make friends at work. I want to do my job and then clock out when finished.

EABOD25 ,

Yeah but not all people need or want that. I agree with op. Camaraderie makes the job easier.

MisterNeon ,
@MisterNeon@lemmy.world avatar

Not all people want to fake the “office family” dynamic.

Worx ,

You’re missing the point. For some people, it’s not faking it

MisterNeon ,
@MisterNeon@lemmy.world avatar

I’m not missing the point. For most people it is fake and used as a tool against them. The “office family” is a tactic utilized by employers to make workers complacent without raising benefits. It’s in the same toolbox as “pizza parties” and “PTO donation”.

EABOD25 ,

Gotta disagree. I’ve always had the belief that if you’re in management, you don’t get to play the comradery game with staff because that can easily be perceived as preferential treatment or fraternization. Management has their connections with other managers. Staff should use their comradery against management. However, your perspective isn’t wrong either. I just believe that even if you’re faking the “office family,” it still makes work that much easier

snooggums ,
@snooggums@midwest.social avatar

The office “family” gets in the way of clear and honest communication by guilt tripping anyone who disagrees by treating them like someone who upset grandma at Thanksgiving. It has always been counterproductive in my experience.

Chozo ,

The true office family are the ones you hang out in the break room and talk shit about everybody else with.

EABOD25 ,

You got the wrong office family haha. I’ve always had the belief that you should always have the life you live at work and the life you live at home. You’re not supposed to take your work home with you and you should never bring your home to work. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be civil and conserting while at work. And I honestly don’t think there’s anything wrong with your mindset. We all perceive situations in different ways. But being earnest to your coworkers with clear social lines never hurts anything. You should be allowed to be very concerned about a coworker that has health issues, but on the same hand, it shouldn’t dictate your home life or emotions when not there. I hope I’m explaining what I’m trying to say correctly.

snooggums ,
@snooggums@midwest.social avatar

You are saying the same thing that I am on how it should work, but in my experience any office that says that they are a family tends to be the manipulating, toxic parts of families.

EABOD25 ,

I’m not saying anything about people being toxic. That’s your own perceptions and expectations

sunzu ,

You can make a friend at work but the actual work is just that, work.

Most people don't want to be there, they don't want to interact with you either or anyone there either. It is a sterile corpo ran shit hole.

Also, for owners it is always faking...

If ask them for a raise and see how they react lol

Rhynoplaz ,

I feel like that’s a different thing. “We’re a family” is a forced perversion of actual meaningful relationships with co-workers.

MisterNeon ,
@MisterNeon@lemmy.world avatar

I will concede there is a spectrum of professional familial attitudes.

Rhynoplaz ,

I do agree though, that the forced family is the worst.

At some point, someone found out that people who get along with their coworkers work better and like their job better. So, some dense HR directors thought, “If we want people to work better, we should force them to be friends!”

Then you get mandatory team-builders that maybe two people enjoy, and the rest are thinking about how they’d rather be spending their time.

deafboy ,
@deafboy@lemmy.world avatar

Forced family is the worst

But this is literally how family works for the first 20 years of your life. You don’t get to choose one. You are assigned one from birth :D

li10 ,

But they say they are chatting about video games and joking around, what more do you want?

It’s work tho, so it stays there. You have to get on with someone really well to want to see them all day at work and then after as well.

EABOD25 ,

True. Me and a friend of mine used to work together and live together. Then we’d go home after work, get drunk and play video games just to wake up and do it all over. Granted thar was years ago.

I did work with my now wife at one point. But we never actually hung out too much when we were working together because we were management and she would always go hang out with staff which I wouldn’t do

snooggums ,
@snooggums@midwest.social avatar

I had a friend who I worked with and then lived together. But we were friends first who happened to share a job.

EABOD25 ,

I met this guy at work. It’s a very long story, but the short and skinny is I was homeless and he and his mom gave me a home. I suppose he’s more like a brother than anything else. They never asked for anything in return. He just wanted to hang out and get into shenanigans. And shenanigans we certainly got into

originalfrozenbanana ,

But you can’t expect it from others who don’t have the same needs.

hackeryarn ,

Isn’t that the whole point of hiring people that fit the company culture? I’ve worked at both types of places in different stages of my life. Both can feel good or bad depending on where you’re at. Don’t try to change the job to fit your needs. Find a different one.

sunzu ,

It is just a job and my only need is being paid for doing enough not go fired.

EABOD25 ,

Can’t blame you for that mentality

hackeryarn ,

Totally get that. Just saying that different people want different things out of their jobs, and it’s a good thing that there are places where all of them can fit.

sunzu ,

Most places suck ass to work for.

Good jobs are few... So most people don't get what they want lol

deafboy ,
@deafboy@lemmy.world avatar

If I remember correctly, this is literally one of the points taken from the sabotage handbook. Is your job really making you so miserable, or is this some kind of organized propaganda campaign?

sunzu ,

Doing the work you are paid for is sabotage?

🤡

Is you naive or a bootlicker?

deafboy ,
@deafboy@lemmy.world avatar

doing enough not to get fired

Ok, not the exact same phrasing, but close enough.

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/1e519ee8-7dce-4fbe-a8ce-42241696f3d6.png

sunzu ,

Some good advice in there tbh

But as long as they behave, I got no interest in wasting my time to diversion.

You seem like the type to run to the boss man tho

You priorities are wacked haha

marcos ,

Is your job really making you so miserable

Management and HR departments are quite efficient on that kind of moral sabotage. It could be an organized propaganda campaign, at least those would make sense.

EgoNo4 ,

The words “company culture” always make me laugh.

Company culture is the first to go out the window when shit hits the fan.

People being let go for speaking their minds, în the most respectful manner, by a company that “values openness”.

Culture being changed to fit the current corporate needs.

“Company culture” is nothing but corporate 🐂💩.

Don’t drink the corporate kool-aid, kids.

DragonTypeWyvern ,

“Not fitting company culture” is just how racists get away with not hiring qualified candidates.

sunzu ,

The fit was always code word for suburban whites for a lot of things

Society has caught on now.

FundMECFSResearch ,

Its a cultural thing that definitely exists where I live

Pelicanen ,

Not only that but it makes it easier to care about one another, which gives a greater incentive to unionize.

folkrav , (edited )

I totally agree with you that I don’t need to make friends at work. I 100% clock out at the end of the day and make a hard cutoff between personal and work life. I can even work with people I personally dislike just fine, as long as they’re not making things harder for others.

But OP was talking about camaraderie, which is mostly just about being generally pleasant to be around - as Merriam-Webster defines it, “a spirit of friendly good-fellowship”. Nobody likes to deal with the moody guy who doesn’t want to talk to anyone either, including the other moody guys. There’s definitely a minimum level of camaraderie required not to make things harder for everyone involved. You don’t have to lean into the “we’re a family” BS not to be unpleasant.

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