I don’t necessarily feel like people are scared of criticism, but more so scared of being attacked. In my experience, a large number of people don’t know how to give constructive criticism in a way that’s actually helpful.
Lets say you’re training somebody at work and your trainee makes a mistake. I’ve seen trainers respond to this in two different ways:
(Laughing) “Really?! No, why would you do that. This is the right way to do it.”
“That might work in some cases, but that’s not exactly right. A more efficient way is like this.”
Humans are emotional creatures, some more than others, and our emotions influence how we handle criticism. It’s a fact of life. Most people want to learn from their mistakes, not be put in a position where they feel like they need to defend themselves. It feels a lot better to think “Okay, I’m making a mistake, but I know how to keep myself from doing it again” instead of “Wow, this person thinks I’m a piece of shit.”
I am not sure as a whole, because I am not say...every human alive. And I am from a certain background with a certain way of thinking I was taught, and a certain way of thinking I hold personally. But I believe it's a multi-layered reason. One being that we're taught academic intelligence is direly important, and that failure in this situation comes with some weighted consequences. Such as being held-back or not being able to graduate. And in turn not being able to continue forward with your peers. And since most systems are setup for only certain individuals to thrive - if you are swept under the rug it can make you feel like a total failure. This can keep multiplying as you age, and when life is more Ls than Ws it can really fuck you up.
But also I know it can be the other way too. Where not enough people say "no" to you. And you keep coasting through life win after win. Those people are just as bad with criticism. But this is of course all generalization, and the thoughts of a currently very pained woman - so like - it might all be gibberish. Idk. Brain no workie no more. But umm, societally I don't think Americans like being told "no." We grew up the "heroes" of a lot of big media, and we've got big heads from it. But also, and I can't say this is for everyone - but certain areas of the US are er...louder than others. More open to sharing on fuck-ups. Which is why I always say you gotta look at the intention. Because I grew up not only in a black joint, which will call you out the second you fuck up and crush you over it - but I also grew up in the East. And I honestly think we're vibrant and opinionated and very prone to strong-arming and convers-a-debating. Where as several places I have lived have enjoyed conversation to revel in the joy of living, I think back home people are more prone to a "I'm right, here's why - get on board or fuck you" kind of mindset. It's a pleasureful mix of intensity, emotions, and analytics (is this the right word HERE!? It's what I'm going with) - that I really enjoy personally and crave like candy even if it leads to heart attacks. But I am open to persuasion, you've just gotta move me in the right direction. And while I do listen to criticisms, I gotta think them over heavily and decide if they were worth my time. And to be honest I think a lot of them are manipulative shits, trying to squeek my neurodivergence out of myself and have me be "more normal" and fuck that! If I think it's warranted I try and change, but if it's bullshit to me I grab a pitchfork or straight avoid that human because I think they're on some bullshit.
Which is to say - I am not the greatest at it. But I also try not to hand it out unless I really think it's necessary. Because while it can be a gift coming from the right place - I have trouble hurting other's feelings. And also (when it comes to personal affairs) - I let my folks live their lives cause I am not here to tell them how to and I'm hellllllllllllluhhhhh not perfect - so of course who am I to talk?
And we haven't even hit the perfectionist aspect. Cause that's a thing too. But I've already type-vomited enough. Enjoy!
Some people, specifically people with ADHD, are actually more sensitive to criticism than neurotypical people.
It makes dealing with criticism incredibly difficult for them and it can take them years if not decades to acquire the social and psychological coping skills needed to handle normal criticism rationally.
I have ADHD and this take is horribly off base. I can take criticism when I’m wrong. It’s just that I’m not wrong. How dare you accuse me of… oh fuck I’m doing it aren’t i?
Most people aren’t taught how to deal with criticism and see it as a personal attack, an attempt to discredit them. This leads a culture where people are afraid/unwilling to admit they were wrong (it’s a sign of weakness after all, “I can’t be weak”) and would rather dig themselves towards more and more absurd explanations and deflections on how they are the correct ones.
The more popular this stance becomes (compare how stars or politicians, the ones setting an example, act now and how they were few decades ago) the more it spreads, powering the cycle of pride and unwillingness to say “I was wrong”.
That’s how I see it at least. It’s not exactly a professional or scientific look at the issue so there might be better explanations out there.
Exactly! And why did they have to ask it so directly? Where’s the tact? They’re as arrogant as Donald Trump, and they have the morals of (whispered in a raspy voice) an alleycat!