& understand both how to woo women much more competently, as well as how to make your woman live a healthier life ( the “Tribal Leadership” book & Gottman’s stuff ), & know how to recognize different unconscious-mind styles from Halvorson’s book, so you aren’t investing in a lost-cause.
Kegan & Lahey’s “Immunity to Change” is required if you’re in it for the long-haul ( in your own life, or in a marriage/family, both paths need this leverage, in our world ), and want to competently dismantle your unconscious-mind’s obstruct-growing-up-to-protect-status-quo mechanism…
Life’s worth much!
A little study can go a long way, if one knows what one ought be studying, you know?
People judge others by appearance … when we have nothing-else to go-on.
When one has significant evidence of someone’s worth, and that evidence isn’t their appearance, their appearance becomes rather irrelevant…
Some people are entirely-visual, some are entirely non-visual ( like me ) in thinking.
Unless you’re clawing-your-way-out-from-reincarnation ( like me ), there likely are good-matches for you.
The significant-evidence item, though, identifies that you need to be hanging-around among women, for them to get to know you, like volunteering somewhere, or something…