I feel the same way. For the purposes of government business, all marriages are civil unions, since it’s the contractual part the government cares about. As far as marriage goes, that’s up to each religion to determine according to its own standards and definitions, including who is allowed to conduct the ceremony and who is allowed to participate in the ritual.
The government shouldn’t be able to dictate who I choose to share my assets and debts with, as long as they’re legally consenting adults who can sign the contract. And if someone wants to get married to a same sex partner in a church and that church won’t allow it, then they can find a church that better suits their values.
Everyone wins.
However, this is not what the theocrats want, which is why we have to deal with this shit. They want to be able to dictate what secular people do, and use the power of the state to force their religion on people regardless of church membership.