Oh why. I think of it this way and I’ll use a restaurant metaphor.
Imagine you’re thinking about going out to a restaurant with a lot of people and it’s up to you to choose. It’s a very special occasion and you really don’t want to waste your money or your friends’ time.
You find one that you’re really interested in and you look up the reviews and it’s a list of people saying, “sucks” and “great.” Not sure what to make of it you look up another but it’s the same thing. Nothing but “sucks” or “great.” Restaurant after restaurant with the exact same reviews. How will you make up your mind?
That’s kind of how I see a lot of political discourse. Someone does something that they don’t like, “SUCKS!” but someone else does something that they like, “GREAT!”
None of this is the end of the world. It’s just my opinion that if it wouldn’t be helpful for everyone to do it then it stands to reason it isn’t helpful if one person does it. If you think something sucks say why it sucks:
“I liked Sinema at first but she said\did X and that resulted in Y and that would affect Z… etc”
Combine that with the fact with as I’ve gotten older I personally try to not use insults geared directly towards women. I work with an older woman who’s incredibly smart and actually very helpful but she doesn’t candy coat her language. If you messed up she’ll just tell you that you messed up but she’ll show you how to fix it and prevent it. If you mess up a lot she’ll tell you that. Right to your face. She doesn’t gossip behind people’s backs if she’s going to say it she’ll say it right in front of you.
I’ve found that there are a lot of people, guys especially, who want women, older women especially, to hold them by the hand and be very maternal towards them and because she isn’t they called her all these names behind her back like a bunch of cowards. I got so sick of hearing this that I’d tell people if you’re going to say it then say it to her face but I don’t want to hear it. Their response? “Fuck you it’s just a joke” or “no I might need her help someday.” After that I began thinking about how I use language like that and I just decided that it’s not something that I really want to do.
Everyone’s different. What works for me might not work for you and that’s fine. I’m going to keep on doing my thing because that’s all I know. You keep on doing your thing if that’s what you want to do.