“I, as a member of Congress of the United States, would like to offer my thoughts and prayers to the family of this senseless tragedy that I will do nothing to prevent from occurring again, despite actually being in a position to do something about it. I will continue to pander to right-wing gun nuts because they’ve made gun-ownership their entire identity. I won’t lose a single minute of sleep as I collect Russian cash laundered through the NRA because I don’t really give a fuck about children. Insincerely, every GOP politician.”