I’ve just read a comment from a woman who was held captive and tortured by an ex:
"Male friends who know what happened tell me I didn’t fight back hard enough. “Just say no.” I did. “You should have left.” I tried. “You need to put up more of a fight. Don’t let these men walk all over you.” He beat me to the point I was bleeding internally and gave me permanent brain damage.
They will never get it. Nothing we can ever say will make them understand how it feels.
Compassion is not something that many humans are good at, I guess.