I assure you, it does not mean “neurodivergent” and most neurodivergent people are not narcissistic. However, capitalism, isolation, insecurity (advertising), lack of community, hyperindividualism, all creates a good recipe for creating a nation of narcissistic people. And so we get lots of flavors:
-intellectual narcissists: only “smart” people are valid, and they determine who and what are smart ofc as if it was objective.
-moral narcissists: super common, only “moral” position is theirs, they are an extremely good person in their eyes and a savior who must give “help” and “advice”
-financial narcissists: don’t even need to be rich, just have to feel superior to people poorer than themselves. Tons of them monitor homeless people to an EXTREMELY CREEPY level and may even involve some moral narcissism by claiming the homeless are all bad people who steal, or physical narcissism by claiming all homeless are drug addicts
-physical narcissists: lots of varieties
–weight narcissists: feel superior based on their weight compared to others. Whether that’s being big or little.
–physical competency narcissists: often have phobias about physical disability, often will excessively loft and may even abuse steroids or other drugs to be in “perfect” health
–beauty narcissists: see The Picture of Dorian Gray, think of people who will only associate with other beautiful people (and for a bonus game, think of how these types of narcissists pay for programs that are basically eugenics along these parameters - the Olympics, modeling, beauty pageants, actors amd actresses, MENSA, churches, etc - they all try to fish for people with good genes so they can live vicariously through their child, a life free of shame and uncomfortable emotions. ).
–racial narcissists: white supremacists, other racial superiority groups
an inability to perspective take, can’t agree to disagree
demand for perfectionism. Their version of “perfect” is based on value statements, not anything actually measurable or achievable (so they can always keep you striving).
Sensitive to shame and jealousy
Entitled, controlling
So eg a parent who is a gender narcissist (to use the term loosely) like Elon Musk will react by
ignoring the other person’s wants, concerns, thoughts
demand their kid be “perfect” to Elon’s standards (which will never be achievable- there will always be another demand)
Use their kids as a proxy to enact their shame through, get wildly jealous when their kids surpass the shame they feel because they themselves can’t escape it. Meaning, Elon feels shame and jealousy that his daughter did what he could never do - endure the “shame” of being trans.
He thinks it’s appropriate to force her and others to be cis, and he tries to publicly shame her (he thinks everyone is sensitive to shame like he is, bc he can’t perspective take) to force her into good behavior
The formula becomes quite clear and predictable once you understand what’s happening. That’s VERY different than someone with low serotonin counting tiles over and over again, or someone with a panic attack crying from fear. Partially because it’s a series of beliefs that can theoretically be unlearned over time. There’s no medication for it because it’s like learning a language incorrectly - how can you make someone forget a whole language with a drug? You can’t, you just start where they are at and teach them as much as they can learn and WANT to learn, each day. This is the impact individuals have on culture.