You shouldn’t rely on your adult kids to help you either. If they can, it’s great. But they have their own lives and jobs and possibly kids themselves. I don’t think you should expect them to help you. It’s nice if they can, but I will tell my daughter if I need someone to care for me that I do not want her to feel any obligation to do it herself. If I have to end up in a state nursing home, so be it. Life can suck.