Isn’t it great how dark money super pacs can spend unlimited resources on influencing our campaigns? Where does the money come from? Foreign governments? oligarchs? apartheid states? Who knows! Yay citizens united! I didn’t want free and fair elections anyways, that’d be too easy, too smart, too economical, too practical, and enrich our lives by making campaigns last only a couple months at most! I’d rather live life on Hard Mode, where every fucking day is a struggle against multi-national billionaire conglomerates that control everything around me! Wheeeee! Life is terrible! Thanks citizens united!