Well, I am trans, active in the community and I am aware of the concept you are talking about. But I also know it’s incel / 4chan language, specifically with being a “passoid” or “non-passoid hon”, as a deviation from referring to women as “femoids”. So right off the bat, it’s not something I take too seriously purely because I don’t care too much what they say on the worst part of the net.
But more to the point, I go to a lot of meet up events with trans folk and the conversation has been brought up a few times. I’ve yet to meet someone who is actually upset by it. Few people aware of it, as you said its a deep lore type thing, but even of those that know most don’t seem to care.
I see it kind of like the whole “Queer vs LGBTQIA2S+” debate, where to my mind Queer is more ecompassing, easier to say and commonly considered a reclaimed word for the queer community. But, there are absolutely some people have had “Queer” used derisively against them and do not feel comfortable using it as a label. I entirely respect and support that, and if I know that a person feels that way, I will go out of my way NOT to use the word Queer around them. So, if I upset you or the person I was originally replying to with my word choice, I sincerely apologize.