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lets_get_off_lemmy ,

I responded to your other comment, but I like this question too. I haven’t been addicted to a substance, but I can firmly say for other things that the answer is “No”. I’m not blacked out, I’m completely present when I’m making this choice, but sometimes there’s a constant justification of “ok I’ll do it this last time and tomorrow is when I’ll resist it.” And you keep doing that. And that voice gets weaker over time to where you just start accepting that this is what you do now. And that often comes with self-loathing and frustration.

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