She doesn’t know she needs to. She can’t humanize the other side. Something I think you can relate to. I’m not at all against calling out JK Rowling and her absolutely toxic viewpoint. I’m actually advocating for it. I’m calling out your toxic viewpoint because “Fuck JK Rowling” isn’t a heroic position that’s just “calling someone out”. It’s a vilifying statement that provides no path to redemption. It’s a selfish position you take to alleviate yourself of the responsibility of putting in the work to try and help the other person understand what they need to. While simultaneously making yourself feel like a champion.
I think if you set aside your ego and think about the times in your life when you got something wrong, you were only able to grow from it if your community (or maybe friends or family) help you to do so.
If you assume everyone that does a bad thing is evil, you’ll lose the fight pretty quick. When you keep pouring your hate into other people because they gave you a chance to do it while feeling righteous, the other side will gladly take them as soldiers. You’re just as responsible for those “horrific effects” as the people encouraging JK Rowling.
Imagine someone with the influence and platform of JK Rowling being on our side rather than pulling this shit. She could be an inspiration to all TERFs if we could make her understand the error of her ways. Even if she never did, I promise you, she wouldn’t be as extreme as she is now if people spent more time talking to her with basic respect and patience. Rather than selfishly using her as a conduit for their anger over the issue, however justified that rage may be.
I understand that a lot of people are traumatized and pissed and it sucks. But we’ve got to talk to each other. I know that in the end you want to make the world a better place. So hear this: any relationship without constructive conversation is doomed. We know they’re not going to pull their weight. So we’ve got to pull double. Don’t tell me it’s not your responsibility, because you’re right. But it doesn’t change the fact that they’re going to go out next election and make their vote. Nor does it change the fact that they’re going to keep donating to horrible institutions. So it’s got to be us. We’ve got to be the adults.