But I’m still here scratching my head with the rest of the neighbourhood that hasn’t been affected by this mysterious river.
That’s pretty much what I’m getting at: you don’t even know the river exists, let alone the fact that there are people living near it. You just assume that the US is living in a mountaintop commune, because you and everyone you actually know lives in one.
We aren’t.
The only nation in the Americas that actually qualifies for your little club is Canada. The rest of North, Central, and South America is living in a dank river valley.