I'd tell someone with a SmartCar to get a monthly bus pass instead. And a bike, maybe. And a sense of self-awareness.
But also, yeah, failing that get a bigger car with a backseat. For sure. Maybe the one Smart make, if that's what they're into.
What I'm fascinated about is the "these are not relevant based on my prior ownership" bit, because... I'm not talking to you. I never talked to you. You popped up in here saying that the problem with pickups is they weren't making small ones, as if that was a systemic issue and then somehow this became about a specific car that you want to have that they don't make. Like you personally. As if my tangentially related point was an affront to this purchase that you want to make specifically.
I'm not sure that's a specifically American thing, because people in social media do tend to think everything is explicitly about them in particular, but man, when combined with the pickup thing it does sound... you know, arch.