These cops remind me of this cop that used to harass us as kids at the local park.
More than two kids in a group were planning bank robbery levels of orgenized crime. Walking away when he showed up to harass us meant we were going to smoke the “devil’s lettuce”. If you mouthed off he’d take out his night stick, do some nightstick-kata to let you know he meant business, and come at you.
Long story short - that cop was so tightly butted the apocryphal tall tale was that at Christmas, Santa put him on the naughty list every year. Pissed off that he only got coal in his stocking he’d had enough.
His fragile cop ego was bruised. Since he couldn’t very well beat Santa with his nightstick. he shoved all that coal up his ass instead. He was so tight butted you see, the immense pressure in there would turn those lumps of coal into diamonds and the worth of them would be way greater than anything Santa would give him. He’d get the last laugh.