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EmoDuck ,

Emjoying farts is just micro dosing your scat fetish

Senseless ,

I read this while farting.

ebenixo ,

I can help her lose her appetite for farts

Godort ,

Farts are universally funny. Like sex jokes, they transcend time and language.

In fact, the oldest joke we have discovered was a fart joke:

Something which has never occurred since time immemorial… A young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.

Compare that to a different joke from about 200 years later:

A dog entered into a tavern and said, 'I cannot see anything. I shall open this one

It doesn’t matter where or when you’re from, nor does it matter what language you speak, farts are funny and will continue to be funny forever.

AngrilyEatingMuffins ,

I used perplexity to find some more ancient fart jokes

One example of an ancient fart joke can be found in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales. In the Miller’s Tale, two characters, Nicholas and Absalom, are competing for the same girl. Nicholas decides to humiliate his rival by waiting at the window for Absalom to beckon the girl. Just when he does, Nicholas lets out a fart with a noise as loud as a clap of thunder, almost overcoming Absalom with its force.

Another example from classical times appeared in "Apocolocyntosis" or "The Pumpkinification of Claudius," a satire attributed to Seneca on the late Roman emperor. In this text, a character named Nicholas lets out a fart as great as a thunderclap, which almost blinds the person struck by it.

The medieval Latin joke book "Facetiae" by Poggio Bracciolini also includes six tales about farting, although the specific jokes are not detailed in the search results

TheGayTramp ,
@TheGayTramp@lemmy.ca avatar

I’m assuming the bread pumpernickel which literally means “farting Nicholas” must be related to these jokes. Why does Nicholas always fart?

shiveyarbles ,

This new information has changed my mind on this topic

Schnitzel_bub OP ,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

There he is! Come on, angry mob, let’s all fart on this heathen!

giantfloppycock ,

God I love this comment section

FARTYSHARTBLAST ,
@FARTYSHARTBLAST@kbin.social avatar

Shit Emily, that's deep.

Donkter ,

Same logic applies to murder.

Schnitzel_bub OP ,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

Who said murder wasn’t funny?

chimasterflex ,

Idk! You can’t even spell slaughter without laughter

UnapologeticAnarchist ,

I’ve found my people

Schnitzel_bub OP ,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

Your poople.

PolPotPie ,

not necessarily the same number of farts though. think about it; if you are known as being pro-fart and think farts are funny, farters are going to gravitate to you and are going to fart at you. if you’re vehemently anti-fart and make that clear to people around you, they won’t feel comfortable farting around you. these fart lovers ain’t tricking me again. keep your bodily gasses to yourself at all times

Schnitzel_bub OP , (edited )
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

One could argue if you have those “not playing along” vibes in general on top of the flatulophobia, they might go out of their way to keep them in and seek you out just for extra fun. Behold how the funny stacks:

Fart

undesired fart

undesired stealth fart

undesired stealth fart one cannot really address

undesired stealth fart nobody can really address with a layer of spite and schadenfreude

Schnitzel_bub OP ,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

And don’t forget the adrenalin junkies trying to get away with farting on fart karens

flambonkscious ,

I thought my flat was bad for playing fart tag, that sounds glorious!

LazerFX ,

Fart Karen’s! Oh boy, that is hilarious!

PsychedSy ,

Bullshit. Good friends will target you due to your dislike of it.

Imgonnatrythis ,

I think that people that don’t find farts funny are fakers or have brain damage. It’s pretty much a reflex to trigger the funny center of the brain.

MotoAsh ,

I think it depends greatly on what part of the fart they’re enjoying and why. Someone laughing at a nicely audible, clean rip is very different than someone chuckling at overhearing a wet one.

Schnitzel_bub OP ,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

Both are funny to me. I didn’t know there’s comedic range to poop-air.

gibmiser ,

I think for wet facts the comedy is inversely proportional to the distance from you.

Imgonnatrythis ,

You sound like a bit of a connoisseur. Did you perhaps minor in flatuent psychology?

Jessvj93 , (edited )

Narcissism, so mental health in the “I’m better than this” basket lol

PsychedSy ,

I’m the rather fart in a toilet than shit in your pants sort. It’s mostly me finding it pretty fucked to make people smell your shit fumes.

ivanafterall ,
@ivanafterall@kbin.social avatar

To be fair, if you say "Smell my shit fumes!" before letting one rip, it naturally changes the tone of the whole proceeding.

PsychedSy ,

And I know a coworker that would 100% say that in an enclosed space.

LazerFX ,

Is that me?

donuts ,
@donuts@kbin.social avatar

The most concise and convincing argument about any topic ever.

AceQuorthon ,

Unironically philosophical

Franzia ,

If I find your farts funny then I’m scaling the current level of joy per fart. We can have an import / export scheme. My gross domestic product is outrageous.

Schnitzel_bub OP ,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

Fart Vandalay.

thefartographer ,

Are you suggesting something like the tin cans with a string in the middle, but replacing the string with a hose. We’re gonna need some government subsidies on our farts because eventually one of us is going to overproduce and kill the other in a horrific explosion.

Franzia ,

… Fart-splosion? What a way to go.

foofiepie ,

I always blame mine on the cat.

Schnitzel_bub OP ,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

I blame mine on the hamsters.

I had to gradually buy about 95 to make it seem plausible but I got there in the end.

thefartographer ,

The great thing that 95 hamsters and farting so much that you need 95 hamsters have in common is that visitors already know exactly what they’re in for based on the smell.

Schnitzel_bub OP ,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

I actually only needed the volumetric farts of about 15 hamsters.

However, I thought it’s not realistic to have them all fart at the same time, so I kept buying more.

Eventually it was a big enough group that it seemed more statistically plausible that 15 of them farted in unison.

I feed them beer and cheese and beans to increase the hypothetical flatulence interval of each hamster.

Also I have found, adding “I don’t know, maybe something startled them and some of them… Went off” helps. I could buy a few more hamsters instead, but times are hard.

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