If #8 also included being able to write the language as well, I’d definitely pick that. I could become famous and influential in linguistic circles and probably make good money off of it for a short while. Then I could use that money to fund a few projects I’ve wanted to do for a while, like making a modern Vib-Ribbon for PC.
As for the other pill, probably just #3 since none of the others really appeal to me in any way.