I agree there is definitely some element of that for many people. I am a Domme myself and a lot of that is liking the control in the bedroom. I would never dream of talking to someone like that as a first interaction, but I have said much worse without blinking an eye under the right circumstances.
The opposite is true as well. I have found many Subs that like to be submissive within strict boundaries. At the end of the day it’s all about having control and that is defined on both sides, just in different ways.
I’m sure there are infinite more circumstances and thought processes as well.
Though I would like to highlight it’s not everyone. People are all different and there are many members of the BDSM community that haven’t experienced sexual abuse or any other kind of abuse. Just normal people that like to get freaky.